Oh Meg. I love your heart and the ways you translate your inner world and share it with us. Andrea's existence gave me hope so many times when I had none. And then, the two of you together, your love and the perfect art of you both, that delivered the sort of reminder of possibility I clung to on many hard nights of 3 am wailing for something different than what was in front of me. But you, here, just you. You offer hope and a reminder and return with every word, and I am so, so grateful to you.
Well this notification came in the middle of a work out and started reading it and needless to say have abandoned working out and am currently a puddle on the floor
I was able to see Come See Me in the Good Light at the Va Film Festival - and lo and behold - sitting at the other end of the my row was another of my heroes, Sonya Renee Taylor. After the film I approached her and we hugged and cried and it was the most beautiful evening I’ve had in years. Thank you for shining your light and for carrying Andrea’s light and work forward. You all embody so much of what so many people are missing in their lives. You are beloved and so loved.
The baby squirrel was most certainly summoned by Andrea Meg-who better to organize a sighting that had never yet been seen? Andrea had a way with the squirrels. :)
As a folllow-up to this a day or two later I had a dream where Andrea was a conductor of a squirrel symphony. I love that idea. Since a young age squirrels and chipmunks have always been my favorite animal. I have spent hours just sitting quietly observing them and it never seems to get old. I don’t know what happens after we die but I certainly like the idea that perhaps one day I will embody a squirrel body and get to be a source of joy and bewilderment for a new admirer and lover of nature somewhere down the line.
Absolutely blown away by the beauty in this essay @MeganFalley and these words of yours are beyond profound: "Maybe it isn’t about finding Andrea in places anymore, I thought, but bringing them with me everywhere I go."
Meg, that was a tell. When I lost my beloved Mum, almost two years ago, I was desperate to know she was still there, still here, with me. The red tailed hawk doing unlike red tailed hawk things, was the first sign. My therapist kept saying to me “has she come to you in your dreams yet?” Sadly, my answer was “no.” I thought I’d done something wrong, asked too much, slept too deeply, or not at all, and then one night there she was. And we ran to each other and held on like only the desperate do, and I said, “Mum I’ve missed you so much.” And she said, “I’ve missed you too, dear.” And it wasn’t really a dream at all I realized when I woke. My Mum was there, here, always.
“Liking” this feels cruel. My heart feels for you. If you haven’t already, go to the place where she rests and tell her you’re looking for her. Look to the sky and the stars. She’s there. And she’s ok I just know it.
Glad you had the time at Hedgebrook. I’m an artist who decamped from city life to Whidbey and it’s pretty great. And hey, if you’d like, you can even call Mt. Rainier by her original name: Tahoma. I’m told it means “the mother of waters”.
Damn, that was beautiful ❤️🩹. I think and wonder about you constantly, which I still find a bit weird since we’ve never met. There’s just something about you and your love story and the way you articulate things. I can’t seem to get enough of it.
Also, please don’t ever stop saying Andrea’s name 🙌🏻♥️
Meg, I can barely write this. When you got back to Denver and began to hear Time After Time, I lost it. Came unglued. Your writing is SO beautiful, your heart is SO wide open, your journey back to yourself is SO powerful, your use of language is SO penetrating, it all cracks me wide open. I cannot wait to read and cry through your memoir. Much love, Kathy
This post is so full of hope and beauty. Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey. I've been looking forward to Come See Me in the Good Light since I first learned about it - can't wait to stream it. Whidbey Island is so stunning and your experience there sounds like it was just what you needed. "Time After Time" had me in tears - messages like these are priceless. ♥️
This was the richest of all the writings I've received from you. So many connections! So much clarity! You are blooming into such a gorgeous armful of wild flowers, dear Meg. Of course I know THE MOVIE is coming. I live in a remote part of Vermont where there are no grand openings, but I purchased Apple's streaming service two months ago when I learned I could see the movie that way.Everything I've watched on Apple has been in preparation for seeing you and Andrea; just making sure my TV is ready.
Despite following Andrea online for years, I never owned a chapbook of theirs (I have all of yours though <3) I was visiting Ft. Collins in June and found a lovely indy bookstore, finally broke down and bought “You Better Be Lightning” and right next to it, Mary Oliver’s Blue Horses. I knew they just went together! Thank you so much for sharing these experiences, they are invaluable 💙
Oh Meg. I love your heart and the ways you translate your inner world and share it with us. Andrea's existence gave me hope so many times when I had none. And then, the two of you together, your love and the perfect art of you both, that delivered the sort of reminder of possibility I clung to on many hard nights of 3 am wailing for something different than what was in front of me. But you, here, just you. You offer hope and a reminder and return with every word, and I am so, so grateful to you.
So beautifully said, Jeanette.
They never cease to amaze and inspire me too. What a gift.
Well this notification came in the middle of a work out and started reading it and needless to say have abandoned working out and am currently a puddle on the floor
Understood!
I am so moved by this. All of it.
You remind us to just keep walking.
They’ll keep up. ❤️
I was able to see Come See Me in the Good Light at the Va Film Festival - and lo and behold - sitting at the other end of the my row was another of my heroes, Sonya Renee Taylor. After the film I approached her and we hugged and cried and it was the most beautiful evening I’ve had in years. Thank you for shining your light and for carrying Andrea’s light and work forward. You all embody so much of what so many people are missing in their lives. You are beloved and so loved.
The baby squirrel was most certainly summoned by Andrea Meg-who better to organize a sighting that had never yet been seen? Andrea had a way with the squirrels. :)
good point. they certainly did!
As a folllow-up to this a day or two later I had a dream where Andrea was a conductor of a squirrel symphony. I love that idea. Since a young age squirrels and chipmunks have always been my favorite animal. I have spent hours just sitting quietly observing them and it never seems to get old. I don’t know what happens after we die but I certainly like the idea that perhaps one day I will embody a squirrel body and get to be a source of joy and bewilderment for a new admirer and lover of nature somewhere down the line.
I believe this so intimately. “So close you look past me when wondering where I am”. She was there. She always will be.
*they
Absolutely blown away by the beauty in this essay @MeganFalley and these words of yours are beyond profound: "Maybe it isn’t about finding Andrea in places anymore, I thought, but bringing them with me everywhere I go."
Meg, that was a tell. When I lost my beloved Mum, almost two years ago, I was desperate to know she was still there, still here, with me. The red tailed hawk doing unlike red tailed hawk things, was the first sign. My therapist kept saying to me “has she come to you in your dreams yet?” Sadly, my answer was “no.” I thought I’d done something wrong, asked too much, slept too deeply, or not at all, and then one night there she was. And we ran to each other and held on like only the desperate do, and I said, “Mum I’ve missed you so much.” And she said, “I’ve missed you too, dear.” And it wasn’t really a dream at all I realized when I woke. My Mum was there, here, always.
They are too.
oh I am so glad for you that you had this experience. im waiting to see Andrea a bit more in dreams, soon.
Dear Megan, I know you’ll Always see Andrea. Just wait. They’ll come to you!
You've named how I feel. My mom is in my dreams sometimes, but she is never back to normal, never fully pre-dementia. 😔
“Liking” this feels cruel. My heart feels for you. If you haven’t already, go to the place where she rests and tell her you’re looking for her. Look to the sky and the stars. She’s there. And she’s ok I just know it.
Thank you. What a lovely idea.
Glad you had the time at Hedgebrook. I’m an artist who decamped from city life to Whidbey and it’s pretty great. And hey, if you’d like, you can even call Mt. Rainier by her original name: Tahoma. I’m told it means “the mother of waters”.
So looking forward to your memoir…
Damn, that was beautiful ❤️🩹. I think and wonder about you constantly, which I still find a bit weird since we’ve never met. There’s just something about you and your love story and the way you articulate things. I can’t seem to get enough of it.
Also, please don’t ever stop saying Andrea’s name 🙌🏻♥️
Meg, I can barely write this. When you got back to Denver and began to hear Time After Time, I lost it. Came unglued. Your writing is SO beautiful, your heart is SO wide open, your journey back to yourself is SO powerful, your use of language is SO penetrating, it all cracks me wide open. I cannot wait to read and cry through your memoir. Much love, Kathy
this is so kind to write. thank you so much, Kathy. <3
You're welcome, Meg. Keep making art for art's sake. It's changing the world, or at least our little corner of it. (I'm nearby, in Aurora.)
P.S. Is there a way I can send you a photo I took today that you're comfortable with me using?
You were in my neighborhood. So beautiful. Love your writing and vulnerability and willingness to see what others can’t always see. Big love. ❤️
This post is so full of hope and beauty. Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey. I've been looking forward to Come See Me in the Good Light since I first learned about it - can't wait to stream it. Whidbey Island is so stunning and your experience there sounds like it was just what you needed. "Time After Time" had me in tears - messages like these are priceless. ♥️
the painting of you and andrea is so you and andrea. it's beautiful.
This. What I was thinking & feeling when I saw it, said better than I could.
This was the richest of all the writings I've received from you. So many connections! So much clarity! You are blooming into such a gorgeous armful of wild flowers, dear Meg. Of course I know THE MOVIE is coming. I live in a remote part of Vermont where there are no grand openings, but I purchased Apple's streaming service two months ago when I learned I could see the movie that way.Everything I've watched on Apple has been in preparation for seeing you and Andrea; just making sure my TV is ready.
Despite following Andrea online for years, I never owned a chapbook of theirs (I have all of yours though <3) I was visiting Ft. Collins in June and found a lovely indy bookstore, finally broke down and bought “You Better Be Lightning” and right next to it, Mary Oliver’s Blue Horses. I knew they just went together! Thank you so much for sharing these experiences, they are invaluable 💙
what a beautiful pairing of books. thank you for supporting independent bookstores, too! <3