‘Cancer The Sequel’, One Star Review

Writing fake movie reviews for our personal dramas

Hello Wonders!

As some of you are new here (welcome and thank you!) I’ll give a bit of context for today’s newsletter: In July 2021 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. A few months ago I found out I was having a recurrence. To help navigate this time with some humor and lightheartedness, I stopped calling it a recurrence and started calling it Cancer The Sequel. Today I am sharing a short Rotten Tomatoes Review of Cancer The Sequel. I found this to be a great way to shift my perspective on some of the harder scenes of my life.

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I give Cancer The Sequel a one star review. Mostly because I don’t like sequels. The original was fine. Why make another? Cancer The Sequel has the same incredible cast, but there are some moments of bad acting, particularly on the part of the lead who I heard kept breaking character and screaming, “I demand a stunt double for the chemo scenes!” What a wimp. Something that generally irks me is when they kill the villain in the original movie and then bring the villain back in the sequel like, “Oh look the villain didn’t really die!” Are you kidding? We saw the scans. We saw the blood tests. The villain was dead. Besides, how many times can a director aka surgeon scream “cut! cut! cut!” before it’s just unbelievable? That’s not even to mention the issue of genre. I have no idea if I’m watching a comedy, a thriller, or a meditation documentary narrated by the inventor of the panic attack. Rumor has it, the lead had a lot of trouble staying on script. Even refused to pick it up (the script) from the pharmacy––something about the sight of the anti-nausea meds making them nauseous. How does that even make sense? In spite of the movie looking like it was filmed on an iPhone, it went way over budget, as can be expected with catastrophic insurance. In the original film, the cinematographer (CT scan) was great, but in the sequel one can’t help but wonder what the camera could have caught had the film crew arrived a bit earlier, or used a wider lens. Might have been an entirely different movie altogether. One thing I’ll vouch for is the supporting cast. They’re fantastic––though they admittedly look like they’ve aged more than a year in a year. (Movie industry work is relentlessly grueling). Another positive––both the sequel and the original never suggest the doctors are the heroes—a mistake commonly made in most American Films. My last note is this––the soundtrack in the sequel is just as off mood-wise as it was in the original. Dance remixes of Justin Bieber ballads is simply not the way to go when making a movie about a topic this serious.

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The reason writing this felt so cathartic and fun was because it literally helped me see a part of my life from a new LENS.

Whether you identify as a writer or not, I invite you to try out this prompt: Write a movie review about a life challenge you may be going through. A divorce? Losing a job? You might consider the soundtrack, or what actor might play you. Is the movie shot in black and white, or technicolor?

A helpful tip: prior to beginning your review, make a word bank of movie/film terms to help inspire your pen. For example: blockbuster, script, silver screen, over-acting, producer, soundtrack, cast, director’s chair, etc.

Shortly after writing this, I realized this would also be an amazing prompt for celebrating the great parts of my life, too. For example, “Falling In Love With Meg, 5 Star Review”.

If you choose to write your own [1 star or 5 star review] please share in the comments. I’d love to read what you create.

Love, Leading Lady Man Andrea 🖤