Unpublished Andrea Gibson Speech: Do Not Rule Out What Scares You

From one of the proudest moments of Andrea's life.

In May 2022, Andrea received an email from a student at their high school alma mater, asking if they’d consider being the commencement speaker at graduation.

Now listen. I’d been by Andrea’s side when they were invited to the White House. When they sold over four thousand tickets in a matter of minutes. When they were selected to be Colorado’s Poet Laureate. When our documentary won the Festival Favorite Award at Sundance. But I’d never seen them shimmer with more pride, or flit around with more excitement, than they did when they got this request.

It was the professional honor of their lifetime.

Growing up as a closeted queer kid in rural Maine with a perm that only took to one side of their head, I know it meant so much to Andrea to be invited back not as who they had been, but as who they’d become: a famously gay non-binary poet with a men’s haircut, standing in front of their hometown with nothing left to hide.

They’d graduated from Calais High School in 1993. Back then, nobody was “out.” And so I think it mattered to them that there were students in that auditorium who would never have to experience that particular loneliness: the loneliness of not having a role model, a guide, a person who had carved a path before you.

Andrea carved that path for so many. They carved it with a pen.

Calais, Maine. 2021.

Their immune system was still too compromised to do the event in person, so they recorded it virtually. My first time watching the video was just a few days ago. As always, I count my lucky stars to still have unseen footage of my love. To be able to hear them say things I’d never heard them say before.

Something that really amazes me about this speech is how Andrea somehow managed to speak to an entire hometown—including people who almost certainly disagreed with them—while bringing all of who they were to the proverbial podium. How they could be so unmistakably Andrea: a relentless activist with radical politics, and still make everyone feel included. Still make everyone feel spoken to. Andrea was always building a longer table.

But one line I haven’t been able to stop thinking about is: “When you think about what you want to do with your life, do not rule out what scares you.”

Maybe because so much of Andrea’s life was a refusal to rule out what scared them. Coming out. Standing on stage. Telling the truth in the spotlight. Becoming visible in places where they had once been invisible. Loving as fiercely as they did, even knowing love comes with no promise of being spared. Staying open, even at the end.

And maybe because I am still being asked, every day, to not rule out what scares me either: making a life in the after. I want to tell Andrea how proud I am of them. How proud I was then, and how proud I am now. How they are still doing what they always did best: standing in a brave place and making it easier for the rest of us to take one step closer to our own lives.

When I graduated high school, I remember sitting there in my cap and gown, feeling like something enormous was ending. But the speaker that day reminded us that it was a commencement ceremony, and that the word commencement actually means beginning.

Today I’m thinking about death. About how we almost exclusively think of it as the end of a life. But what if it’s just the start? What if death is simply an earthly graduation?

I don’t want to crowd this newsletter with too many of my own words. Andrea’s speech is seventeen minutes of brilliance. I’m honored to be able to share it with you today.

The messages here are perfect for anyone graduating, but I think they apply long after the diplomas have been delivered. Especially during Pride Month, when it’s worth taking a moment to notice how much has changed—and how much courage it took from people like Andrea to help change it.

I hope you cherish this new footage of Andrea as much as I do.

Love,

Meg [+ Andrea, forever]

PS. Here are two of my favorite “Pride Month” poems of Andrea’s. Listen to “Your Life” + “First Love.” And congratulations to all new graduates.