An intimate personal essay on love, loss, friendship, the many forms of caregiving. And the feeling of being carried by hundreds at Girls Just Wanna Weekend.
I leaned on their words, now I lean on yours. Thank you Meg for continuing to inspire us the way that only Andrea could. They would and are so proud of the way you have continued and expounded on their legacy!
As someone who is still neck-deep in the role of caregiver, especially as someone who •struggles• to receive the care offered to me, this was a hard read. But also, as with every word that comes from Andrea and now Meg, it was exactly what I needed. These words, particularly:
When I was deep in heavy caregiving, sometimes the love, without any words attached to it, was the only thing left, and it has weight and heft. I miss that knowing, that solidity of the presence of love in and on my heart, body, mind, and soul. But I do not miss the bone deep fatigue--like anemia--nor the brain fog and exhaustion of grief on top of grief on top of regrets and remorse and survivor's guilt and shame alternating with numbness and overwhelm that is the first few years after the caring ends and the abrupt new death begins. 💔 But I do miss that sense of love permeating everyone and everything, especially my loved ones who were living while dying. I hold you and yours in my heart. Strength and peace in the midst of your journey.
Thank you, Meg and Andrea for showing us the way. For your courage to grieve to celebrate to live out loud and most of all to love so openly so generously so publicly. I feel all of you, Andrea, you Meg, Abby Glennon, Liz… You’re this sacred community that I call my own even though no one really knows about it, not even you. But I feel you there and each time you write and you bring us all with you my heart fills and I feel free and I feel sure that this one precious life we have continues on and on well beyond our time here in this form. Thank you. Just thank you. 🙏🏽💜🙏🏽
I just watched “Come see me” again and fell in love again because of it. Thank you both (I glance toward heaven) for sharing your vulnerability. You know, I think Andrea’s infectious joy and your role as cohort gave all of us permission to feel . . . Joy, grief, play and thriving while surviving. ❤️
I'm so glad to have you here still sharing their light. While Andrea was going through their cancer journey I was guiding my father through his. He passed in April while I too knuckled morphine in his mouth. Andreas poetry held me through some of my toughest moments of grief and now pulls me forward to my own future as I share my poetry to the world. For them, because of them. I loved them so much from afar and cried like a god damn baby during Come See Me in the Good Light. I love you for caring for them the way you did. I love you more for caring for yourself now and bringing their legacy with you into forever.
What a stunning piece about such a stunning love. I just constantly sit in awe at you two, at the connection, at the overwhelming grace. Thank you for letting us witness it, thank you for letting us learn from it. Thank you. For you.
Meg, I have so much gratitude for your continued openness for this part of your journey. I was one of your students in 2020 and some of the poems you showed me by Sharon Olds about loss, I connect to so much due to similar experience and I just keep thinking about how you must relate differently now too. I hope that you continue to be held and cared for, as well as find moments of overwhelming joy. You so deserve it.
This is beyond beautifully written. I'm in awe. And as someone with chronic illness, I'm especially grateful. Wishing you and Andrea -- and everyone -- endless goodness. <3
Thanks for this, Meg. I don't know you whatsoever, but I take comfort in knowing you are held by community and tethered to all of these wonderful people. Also, I am a little bit jealous. ;)
Thank you, Meg. This is phenomenally, brilliantly, gorgeously heart-opening and beautiful. I’m so grateful to know a bit of you through the words you share and to be alive with you on this wild, mysterious adventure of life, death and all the rest of it. Hugs, blessings, tears and love galore.
I leaned on their words, now I lean on yours. Thank you Meg for continuing to inspire us the way that only Andrea could. They would and are so proud of the way you have continued and expounded on their legacy!
Me too. I knew Andrea’s words but not yours. They are beautiful and raw. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to read about your healing process.
This is the choreography of care. The dance that never ends, only changes partners, changes who leads.
As someone who is still neck-deep in the role of caregiver, especially as someone who •struggles• to receive the care offered to me, this was a hard read. But also, as with every word that comes from Andrea and now Meg, it was exactly what I needed. These words, particularly:
“And I know this now:
Love is not a fixed role.
It moves.
It trades hands.
And even wilder—it survives death.”
When I was deep in heavy caregiving, sometimes the love, without any words attached to it, was the only thing left, and it has weight and heft. I miss that knowing, that solidity of the presence of love in and on my heart, body, mind, and soul. But I do not miss the bone deep fatigue--like anemia--nor the brain fog and exhaustion of grief on top of grief on top of regrets and remorse and survivor's guilt and shame alternating with numbness and overwhelm that is the first few years after the caring ends and the abrupt new death begins. 💔 But I do miss that sense of love permeating everyone and everything, especially my loved ones who were living while dying. I hold you and yours in my heart. Strength and peace in the midst of your journey.
Thank you, Holly.
Thank you, Meg and Andrea for showing us the way. For your courage to grieve to celebrate to live out loud and most of all to love so openly so generously so publicly. I feel all of you, Andrea, you Meg, Abby Glennon, Liz… You’re this sacred community that I call my own even though no one really knows about it, not even you. But I feel you there and each time you write and you bring us all with you my heart fills and I feel free and I feel sure that this one precious life we have continues on and on well beyond our time here in this form. Thank you. Just thank you. 🙏🏽💜🙏🏽
I just watched “Come see me” again and fell in love again because of it. Thank you both (I glance toward heaven) for sharing your vulnerability. You know, I think Andrea’s infectious joy and your role as cohort gave all of us permission to feel . . . Joy, grief, play and thriving while surviving. ❤️
I'm so glad to have you here still sharing their light. While Andrea was going through their cancer journey I was guiding my father through his. He passed in April while I too knuckled morphine in his mouth. Andreas poetry held me through some of my toughest moments of grief and now pulls me forward to my own future as I share my poetry to the world. For them, because of them. I loved them so much from afar and cried like a god damn baby during Come See Me in the Good Light. I love you for caring for them the way you did. I love you more for caring for yourself now and bringing their legacy with you into forever.
Much love,
Andrea
Smiling while also feeling a lump in my throat reading this
Congratulations on the Oscar nomination too
What a stunning piece about such a stunning love. I just constantly sit in awe at you two, at the connection, at the overwhelming grace. Thank you for letting us witness it, thank you for letting us learn from it. Thank you. For you.
Such beautiful writing. Care giving to care receiving = full circle love. And you are right back to care giving with your amazing writing ⭕️❤️
Just sitting here with tears welling up. I’m sure Andrea is right there orchestrating it all. So much love for you and for Andrea. Bless you.
The magical wild dance of eternal love. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Meg, I have so much gratitude for your continued openness for this part of your journey. I was one of your students in 2020 and some of the poems you showed me by Sharon Olds about loss, I connect to so much due to similar experience and I just keep thinking about how you must relate differently now too. I hope that you continue to be held and cared for, as well as find moments of overwhelming joy. You so deserve it.
This is beyond beautifully written. I'm in awe. And as someone with chronic illness, I'm especially grateful. Wishing you and Andrea -- and everyone -- endless goodness. <3
Thanks for this, Meg. I don't know you whatsoever, but I take comfort in knowing you are held by community and tethered to all of these wonderful people. Also, I am a little bit jealous. ;)
Strike that last part. I am envious, deeply envious.
Thank you for sharing this. 🤍The rhythm of love came back around for you to receive. You have the courage to be present to it all.
Thank you, Meg. This is phenomenally, brilliantly, gorgeously heart-opening and beautiful. I’m so grateful to know a bit of you through the words you share and to be alive with you on this wild, mysterious adventure of life, death and all the rest of it. Hugs, blessings, tears and love galore.