Thank you for this. Living in the cancer club myself, we are a deep bunch! wholeheartly walking through life, often because what other choice do we have.
My list is as follows:
✨️to search for the love in everyone and see the god in them
✨️to show up every day and dig out what blocks my river of love to flow
✨️to find gratitude in dog walks even when my legs are jello and aching.
✨️to look at the sky and write poetry about the clouds
✨️to write poems about a love in have never experienced yet
✨️to hold a hot cup of coffee for as many days as I am able, wherever I am able
✨️to love people in their humans, and especially in their fear
✨️to allow myself to be seen, even if i don't know who I am anymore
✨️to plant seeds i may never see grow
✨️to trust love... always trust love. Even when it's illogical
Thank you for being you, I deeply love and appreciate you for how you show up in the world. Love to you ❤️🔥
- To find joy in my ability to still play the piano even when I don't love playing the piano like I used to.
- To maybe love playing the piano again.
- To perform one of my poems out loud. In front of people.
- To sit in the chair on my porch while the rain droplets' rebounds tickle my feet.
- To notice when a loved one needs a hug, and give it no matter how tired I am.
- To hear the crickets talk to me when I walk before dawn, and hear the birds talk to me when I walk in the sunlight.
- To never cease being surprised at how clear the sky is at 5:37am, at how crisp and close the stars are and how the moon surprises me when she's also up that early.
- To allow myself to change the story other people told me about me.
- To allow my dearest loves that I know best to change the stories I've written about them when they discover their own truths.
- To welcome the crows feet coming to roost around my eyes.
- To treasure the gifts of my eyes, and my ears, and my skin, and my nose, and even my tongue when life tastes bitter.
- To always be ready to start a new chapter when this chapter is ready to end.
- To enjoy and appreciate that feeling when I first snuggle into bed at the end of the day.
Thank you, Andrea. The long, tenacious trail of my grief has recently broken through to a clearing, to the view of a horizon that is gaining definition. I was talking to my therapist yesterday and suddenly blurted out: “I want to have as many new beginnings as I have had endings (losses) over these last years.”
So much of what you shared has hit me straight in the heart and made my eyes leak.. This is sticking to me like honey- "To know that shame can’t live in the light, and let the light fall wherever I am hiding." Thank you dear Andrea <3
Here is my list of little bigs:
- To make amends with my son and hug him again.
- To listen to my grandson tell me about all of his days and favorite bugs.
- To dance with my husband in the kitchen while cookies bake.
- To be a better friend to the rocks, not just the trees.
- To love even those who choose not to love me.
Thank you for getting me to think about the littles in a new way. So much love to you! Xoxo
To never forget the softness of my daughter's cheek when I kiss her.
To marvel at the way her lashes are so long her mascara marks up her eyelids.
To see my son's wild, curly hair and realize with deep tenderness that he got that from me.
To listen to my son rant with exasperation and then to remember, with deep tenderness, that he also got that from me.
To hear the sound of heavy traffic outside my window and be glad to have the privilege of living inside.
To eat my leftovers for the third day in a row and enjoy them just as much as the first day.
To feel my cat against my hip in the night and carefully (CAREFULLY) skootch around her in order to turn over. And then that hip that was down stops aching and the relief!
To see my best friend has left me a message and know there've been thousands before and, if I'm very lucky, there will be thousands more.
To come down in the morning in the dark and then for the automatic timer on the plant lights to come on all of a sudden, bathing me in light; to imagine how often that happens in my life, light just all of a sudden shining on me in the darkness as I putter along.
“to imagine how often that happens in my life, light just all of a sudden shining on me in the darkness as I putter along.” Gosh this is gorgeous! Took my breath away for an instant.
These are the first 5 I just came up with. I will aspire to add more to my list of little things. Thank you, Andrea, for always making life more beautiful for all of us!
My List of Little Things - a Nimble Thimble List, if you will 😊
✨ to keep loving my body after taking off and putting on my jumper so many times I’ve lost count (oh, the joys of menopause)
✨ to continue to question everything I think, especially when the thoughts are cruel or unkind
✨ to keep looking for the anchor of inner peace amidst the sometimes convincing lie of I-don’t-know-anything-any-more
✨ to be ok with not-knowing-anything-any-more
✨ to never get tired of watching the little birds frolicking in the garden from the kitchen window
✨ to appreciate a cat being contented, even if it (politely or otherwise) declines pets
✨ to appreciate a cat being contented, especially if it (not so politely) declines pets
✨ to pause and put my hand on my heart whenever I see a lifeless creature, big or small, and wish its soul a warm homecoming (honouring your work, Amanda Stronza 🙏)
✨ to always remain open to receiving, especially from myself
✨ to never stop believing in the magic I am; in the magic we all are
✨ to be full of all of me, and radiate my light exuberantly
✨ to revisit and add to this list whenever I need to replenish my inner well of hope.
I love your list. I'm going to borrow singing while waiting for the results of a scan, which is what I'm doing now. And you've inspired me to make a more specific list too.
Love this. Today I want to do lessons on Duolingo math, music and french. Watch more YouTube videos on how to crochet and try crocheting again. Get some work done at work. Really enjoy every hug and conversation with my partner. Play with the cat. Keep talking to myself and call myself honey, to remind me to be kind. And I would really love to mop someday, but not today
Thanks Colleen. It seems to be the best way to remind me to be kind to myself-keep repeating honey every sentence. Otherwise I tend to be a taskmaster..and a mean one
We used to have a white board with a list of accomplishments, dreams, and bucket lists. We designed in during a year I was having a rough time. It gave the focus for what I needed at the time. The white board became a New Year's tradition, until the tradition needed to change. How it is with our lives. What was important 10 years ago falls away, and something new inside is growing. Since moving to CO, we now have a map, and the joy of adding a yellow pin is giddy. To see something new everyday.
~ to sticker-pauge my writing desk
~ to re-read and relish the stories I wrote when I was eight
~ to get stuck laughing so hard I can't put my husband down in a transfer
~ ** my husband just got a new wheelchair** to sit in his lap while he carries me :)
~ to let myself be loved - to feel myself love
~ to get lost staring in the mountains
~to live in integrity even if it's hard
~to live in God's flow and not be bound by cultural boxes & definitions
~not to fear the coyotes' howl, to raise my voice instead
~to stare at the wrinkles around my husband's eyes
~to join in a husky zoomie (vroooom)
~to feel the aliveness energy in my soul rising... and follow it!
~ to pull out my mother's paintbrushes and add a new layer
~ to share the joy in service of being with someone on their journey
~ to breathe when I'm scared
~ ok, ok praying for the new accessible van will come into life & appear soon (to be human)- and underneath it - to drive into the unknown and get lost without freaking out
~to feel myself being poured out in a storm and poured in by the sun
~to nurture this new soul-map being designed and follow the constellation
Thank you, thank you for this powerful space and all of the dreams held here. I love reading lists, holding them in my palm too, and watching the color paint a butterfly's wing.
I received this newsletter on my 47th birthday, and It really spoke to me. I want to focus this year on consuming love and wonder and beauty; not things and status and “more”. I will work to become more attuned to the fact that everything I want to bring into myself, and also put into the world, is both in and at my fingertips. Thank you for your work – it is meaningful and wonderful. I hold you in my heart.
This sounds incredibly simple to some: I want to marry my girlfriend someday.
Let me explain. I receive SSI, supplemental income from the gov't through Social Security. Because of this, I'm only allowed to have a certain amount of property with X value, and I can't have a cent over $2,000.00 to my name, or it all gets taken away. I'm living in forced poverty, and yet, I am grateful for it.
I have a family that loves me, provides for me, and takes care of me. But someday they will grow old, retire, and eventually pass away. And then? Well, then I'm not sure what's next. I hope that the laws change. I hope that someday, when I am ready, I can propose to my girlfriend and with the words "Will you marry me?", because we will be allowed to get married.
Right now she's finishing up a degree in Library and Information Science and graduating in December. I love her more than words in any language I know can express. It saddens me like a torrential downpour that this isn't possible right now, and that people I don't even know are in charge of voting on a bill that will decide my fate. (H.R. 7055 focuses on marriage equality and S.2767 focuses on letting us save more money)
I'm telling everyone I can about this, because anyone can become disabled at any time, I just have a head start. ;)
Thank you for this. Living in the cancer club myself, we are a deep bunch! wholeheartly walking through life, often because what other choice do we have.
My list is as follows:
✨️to search for the love in everyone and see the god in them
✨️to show up every day and dig out what blocks my river of love to flow
✨️to find gratitude in dog walks even when my legs are jello and aching.
✨️to look at the sky and write poetry about the clouds
✨️to write poems about a love in have never experienced yet
✨️to hold a hot cup of coffee for as many days as I am able, wherever I am able
✨️to love people in their humans, and especially in their fear
✨️to allow myself to be seen, even if i don't know who I am anymore
✨️to plant seeds i may never see grow
✨️to trust love... always trust love. Even when it's illogical
Thank you for being you, I deeply love and appreciate you for how you show up in the world. Love to you ❤️🔥
To lay by my 4 year old at bedtime and reverently listen to her breath calm, soften, and slow as she falls asleep.
To delight in, examine, and learn the map of freckles on my 8yr old’s cheeks.
To marvel in wonder at my 10year old as she shares what she finds interesting in the book she is reading.
These small things actually feel as big as the cosmos.
One other thing…
To see Andrea Gibson on stage with the Colorado Symphony.
Thank you for your beautiful words. 🧡
You are really amazing you should be a poet
- To find joy in my ability to still play the piano even when I don't love playing the piano like I used to.
- To maybe love playing the piano again.
- To perform one of my poems out loud. In front of people.
- To sit in the chair on my porch while the rain droplets' rebounds tickle my feet.
- To notice when a loved one needs a hug, and give it no matter how tired I am.
- To hear the crickets talk to me when I walk before dawn, and hear the birds talk to me when I walk in the sunlight.
- To never cease being surprised at how clear the sky is at 5:37am, at how crisp and close the stars are and how the moon surprises me when she's also up that early.
- To allow myself to change the story other people told me about me.
- To allow my dearest loves that I know best to change the stories I've written about them when they discover their own truths.
- To welcome the crows feet coming to roost around my eyes.
- To treasure the gifts of my eyes, and my ears, and my skin, and my nose, and even my tongue when life tastes bitter.
- To always be ready to start a new chapter when this chapter is ready to end.
- To enjoy and appreciate that feeling when I first snuggle into bed at the end of the day.
- To laugh with abandon every chance I get.
- To cry with abandon every chance I get.
Thank you, Andrea. The long, tenacious trail of my grief has recently broken through to a clearing, to the view of a horizon that is gaining definition. I was talking to my therapist yesterday and suddenly blurted out: “I want to have as many new beginnings as I have had endings (losses) over these last years.”
This is beautiful… it’s lovely to see a horizon again, even when blurry. Wishing you many new beginnings
Thank you, Shaista.
This is so beautiful. May you have those glorious beginnings each day, each moment. Thank you for sharing this...I needed to see this today.
So much of what you shared has hit me straight in the heart and made my eyes leak.. This is sticking to me like honey- "To know that shame can’t live in the light, and let the light fall wherever I am hiding." Thank you dear Andrea <3
Here is my list of little bigs:
- To make amends with my son and hug him again.
- To listen to my grandson tell me about all of his days and favorite bugs.
- To dance with my husband in the kitchen while cookies bake.
- To be a better friend to the rocks, not just the trees.
- To love even those who choose not to love me.
Thank you for getting me to think about the littles in a new way. So much love to you! Xoxo
To never forget the softness of my daughter's cheek when I kiss her.
To marvel at the way her lashes are so long her mascara marks up her eyelids.
To see my son's wild, curly hair and realize with deep tenderness that he got that from me.
To listen to my son rant with exasperation and then to remember, with deep tenderness, that he also got that from me.
To hear the sound of heavy traffic outside my window and be glad to have the privilege of living inside.
To eat my leftovers for the third day in a row and enjoy them just as much as the first day.
To feel my cat against my hip in the night and carefully (CAREFULLY) skootch around her in order to turn over. And then that hip that was down stops aching and the relief!
To see my best friend has left me a message and know there've been thousands before and, if I'm very lucky, there will be thousands more.
To come down in the morning in the dark and then for the automatic timer on the plant lights to come on all of a sudden, bathing me in light; to imagine how often that happens in my life, light just all of a sudden shining on me in the darkness as I putter along.
“to imagine how often that happens in my life, light just all of a sudden shining on me in the darkness as I putter along.” Gosh this is gorgeous! Took my breath away for an instant.
These are the first 5 I just came up with. I will aspire to add more to my list of little things. Thank you, Andrea, for always making life more beautiful for all of us!
To watch the sunset with my daughter
To find the positive part of a negative situation
To pause and breathe before I raise my voice
To sit with nature instead of in my house
To walk for my health and my life
Thank you, Andrea. I needed to read this today.
My List of Little Things - a Nimble Thimble List, if you will 😊
✨ to keep loving my body after taking off and putting on my jumper so many times I’ve lost count (oh, the joys of menopause)
✨ to continue to question everything I think, especially when the thoughts are cruel or unkind
✨ to keep looking for the anchor of inner peace amidst the sometimes convincing lie of I-don’t-know-anything-any-more
✨ to be ok with not-knowing-anything-any-more
✨ to never get tired of watching the little birds frolicking in the garden from the kitchen window
✨ to appreciate a cat being contented, even if it (politely or otherwise) declines pets
✨ to appreciate a cat being contented, especially if it (not so politely) declines pets
✨ to pause and put my hand on my heart whenever I see a lifeless creature, big or small, and wish its soul a warm homecoming (honouring your work, Amanda Stronza 🙏)
✨ to always remain open to receiving, especially from myself
✨ to never stop believing in the magic I am; in the magic we all are
✨ to be full of all of me, and radiate my light exuberantly
✨ to revisit and add to this list whenever I need to replenish my inner well of hope.
"To be full of all of me" ... wow!
😊💝✨
I love your list. I'm going to borrow singing while waiting for the results of a scan, which is what I'm doing now. And you've inspired me to make a more specific list too.
Love this. Today I want to do lessons on Duolingo math, music and french. Watch more YouTube videos on how to crochet and try crocheting again. Get some work done at work. Really enjoy every hug and conversation with my partner. Play with the cat. Keep talking to myself and call myself honey, to remind me to be kind. And I would really love to mop someday, but not today
Love this list! Esp: “Keep talking to myself and call myself honey, to remind me to be kind. And I would really love to mop someday, but not today.”
Thanks Colleen. It seems to be the best way to remind me to be kind to myself-keep repeating honey every sentence. Otherwise I tend to be a taskmaster..and a mean one
Yes!! I have a mean taskmaster too!! Am going to try on a kind moniker & see how it goes!
I have confidence it will work for you too
To remember to savor the first sip of tea every morning.
To remember to feel the relief of thick velvety lotion covering my dry stiff hands.
To thank my partner over and over for leaving our home of 44 years so I could once again live in Colorado and be dazzled every fall by the aspens.
To thank myself for having the courage to make such a big change.
To take banjo lessons and art classes and learn to snow-shoe and not care about doing any of those well.
To say 'hi' to everyone I pass on my daily walks even if they don't look my way.
To listen a lot more than I talk.
Mmm lotion on dry hands. So good, every time.
To decoupage your piano with poetry .... I can see that.
I once did that to an entire bathroom wall and the door with collages of images of color, shapes, flowers, words....
Thanks for reminding me that I did that.
We used to have a white board with a list of accomplishments, dreams, and bucket lists. We designed in during a year I was having a rough time. It gave the focus for what I needed at the time. The white board became a New Year's tradition, until the tradition needed to change. How it is with our lives. What was important 10 years ago falls away, and something new inside is growing. Since moving to CO, we now have a map, and the joy of adding a yellow pin is giddy. To see something new everyday.
~ to sticker-pauge my writing desk
~ to re-read and relish the stories I wrote when I was eight
~ to get stuck laughing so hard I can't put my husband down in a transfer
~ ** my husband just got a new wheelchair** to sit in his lap while he carries me :)
~ to let myself be loved - to feel myself love
~ to get lost staring in the mountains
~to live in integrity even if it's hard
~to live in God's flow and not be bound by cultural boxes & definitions
~not to fear the coyotes' howl, to raise my voice instead
~to stare at the wrinkles around my husband's eyes
~to join in a husky zoomie (vroooom)
~to feel the aliveness energy in my soul rising... and follow it!
~ to pull out my mother's paintbrushes and add a new layer
~ to share the joy in service of being with someone on their journey
~ to breathe when I'm scared
~ ok, ok praying for the new accessible van will come into life & appear soon (to be human)- and underneath it - to drive into the unknown and get lost without freaking out
~to feel myself being poured out in a storm and poured in by the sun
~to nurture this new soul-map being designed and follow the constellation
Thank you, thank you for this powerful space and all of the dreams held here. I love reading lists, holding them in my palm too, and watching the color paint a butterfly's wing.
"To breathe when I'm scared"
I audibly gasp reading your newsletters... this one was no exception. xx
I received this newsletter on my 47th birthday, and It really spoke to me. I want to focus this year on consuming love and wonder and beauty; not things and status and “more”. I will work to become more attuned to the fact that everything I want to bring into myself, and also put into the world, is both in and at my fingertips. Thank you for your work – it is meaningful and wonderful. I hold you in my heart.
This sounds incredibly simple to some: I want to marry my girlfriend someday.
Let me explain. I receive SSI, supplemental income from the gov't through Social Security. Because of this, I'm only allowed to have a certain amount of property with X value, and I can't have a cent over $2,000.00 to my name, or it all gets taken away. I'm living in forced poverty, and yet, I am grateful for it.
I have a family that loves me, provides for me, and takes care of me. But someday they will grow old, retire, and eventually pass away. And then? Well, then I'm not sure what's next. I hope that the laws change. I hope that someday, when I am ready, I can propose to my girlfriend and with the words "Will you marry me?", because we will be allowed to get married.
Right now she's finishing up a degree in Library and Information Science and graduating in December. I love her more than words in any language I know can express. It saddens me like a torrential downpour that this isn't possible right now, and that people I don't even know are in charge of voting on a bill that will decide my fate. (H.R. 7055 focuses on marriage equality and S.2767 focuses on letting us save more money)
I'm telling everyone I can about this, because anyone can become disabled at any time, I just have a head start. ;)
Get mad, get angry, and fuel change.
- Mandy