I lost my Dad on October 2nd. He was under the care of his family and hospice for seven weeks, and I was his primary caretaker for the first and last weeks. We had a complicated relationship and caring for him in those final moments was brutal. Now that he's "gone," I keep inviting him to be the dad I needed him to be. I'm going to pretend this message is from him, but I also know it's from future you, that you are leaving us all a trail of breadcrumbs so we can find our way home. I love you, Andrea. Thank you. ❤️
Dec 21, 2023·edited Dec 21, 2023Liked by Andrea Gibson
Andrea - I feel so much gratitude to you and your Grandma Faye this morning. Your words are like a soothing balm to me today as I look around and watch Christmas unfold all around me and yet I feel as if I am on the outside, still in another world. My beloved partner died by suicide in February 2023 and recently I have felt myself bracing to first get through the holidays and then the one year anniversary that is not far behind. This loss has been hugely painful territory for me, a humbling apprenticeship with grief. Your writing shines a bit of a light in the darkness, reminds me that there is so much that as humans we don't know and that I can in fact, lean into the afterlife and all of the signs Jason has given me that indicate that, yes, he is in fact, "still here" with me...
"But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living...I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise it’s the truth. I promise one day you will say it too– I can’t believe I ever thought I could lose you."
“In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you’d said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories.”
The imagery is breathtaking. Thank you for writing this with so much heart. ♥️
Yes yes yes- I was very close to death a few times with my rare disease- and when I returned, I always tell folks the other-side is right here. In us and with us always.
My gratitude for you knows no bounds🙏🤩Thank you for speaking the truth of the Universe in a way that allows us to absorb and integrate it into our being. You are a Goddamn Cheetah and a Rockstar! Sending lots of love🥰😍
Your poem helps me understand why my relationship with my mother feels so much more full and complete since her passing. Why I feel more compassion and tenderness toward her, more more more than I ever did while she was alive. I cried when reading your poem, because the truth wiggles past the habitual armor and allows my heart to feel the big feelings. Thank you for knowing and for sharing. You are precious to me.
My dad is dying. I was just readying myself to go pick him up for his radiation appointment when I came upon this. He’s one of my favourite people and the only person I’ve always been able to count on for anything no matter what. I’ve been trying to prepare for his leaving but I can’t. I can’t. This however? This helps. Thank you.
Just thank you. This world is so lucky to have you here, opening us up and reminding us that pain is not the enemy. I miss my sister so much that every thing feels impossible. Yet, everything is still doable, being done. It was lovely to have a moment, consumed by your words and a new perspective, to do nothing more than feel her so close. Turns out, a hour ago, that was actually the most impossible thing. Thank you, Andrea.
One of my favorite writing professors at Pitt, Jeff Oaks, passed away from cancer yesterday. It’s such a monumental loss. He was an incredibly gifted poet and artist, and always lovely to speak with. I’m lucky to have been his student. I read these words in his voice and felt comforted right away. This is a beautiful poem to remember him through, and I think he’d really like it.
I adore this newsletter and your words so often touch me deeply that I almost cry reading them. This was my mother’s favorite season and I feel her with every wind’s whisper and every leaf that falls, touches that part of me that misses her.
“At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets”--this image, and this poem, brings me to tears, remembering those who are lost and those who are still here but with whom something has been lost. Thank you for gifting us with your words and your soul, Andrea! ♥️
Hello supernova that all astronomers of grief so admire and need to see in the sky. Even at 70+ yrs young your poem "Every Time I Said..." changed my life. Your writing here as well, my inclination is to believe it does and will move further changes. I'm wondering what/who else it will change. I wanted to donate a subscription to a person of your choice, but the donate button did not work. 404 error or such. Sigh. Practicalities can be such a speed bump. I'm hoping it is not a speed bump of Practicalities to help me out if you can. Perhaps even, you would have a different idea altogether, which would not be surprising, but would bring a smile. So glad for you that you can now move in this world, and move the world, as a Laureate.
I lost my Dad on October 2nd. He was under the care of his family and hospice for seven weeks, and I was his primary caretaker for the first and last weeks. We had a complicated relationship and caring for him in those final moments was brutal. Now that he's "gone," I keep inviting him to be the dad I needed him to be. I'm going to pretend this message is from him, but I also know it's from future you, that you are leaving us all a trail of breadcrumbs so we can find our way home. I love you, Andrea. Thank you. ❤️
Andrea - I feel so much gratitude to you and your Grandma Faye this morning. Your words are like a soothing balm to me today as I look around and watch Christmas unfold all around me and yet I feel as if I am on the outside, still in another world. My beloved partner died by suicide in February 2023 and recently I have felt myself bracing to first get through the holidays and then the one year anniversary that is not far behind. This loss has been hugely painful territory for me, a humbling apprenticeship with grief. Your writing shines a bit of a light in the darkness, reminds me that there is so much that as humans we don't know and that I can in fact, lean into the afterlife and all of the signs Jason has given me that indicate that, yes, he is in fact, "still here" with me...
"But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living...I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise it’s the truth. I promise one day you will say it too– I can’t believe I ever thought I could lose you."
“In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you’d said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories.”
The imagery is breathtaking. Thank you for writing this with so much heart. ♥️
Yes yes yes- I was very close to death a few times with my rare disease- and when I returned, I always tell folks the other-side is right here. In us and with us always.
My gratitude for you knows no bounds🙏🤩Thank you for speaking the truth of the Universe in a way that allows us to absorb and integrate it into our being. You are a Goddamn Cheetah and a Rockstar! Sending lots of love🥰😍
Your poem helps me understand why my relationship with my mother feels so much more full and complete since her passing. Why I feel more compassion and tenderness toward her, more more more than I ever did while she was alive. I cried when reading your poem, because the truth wiggles past the habitual armor and allows my heart to feel the big feelings. Thank you for knowing and for sharing. You are precious to me.
Jodi
My dad is dying. I was just readying myself to go pick him up for his radiation appointment when I came upon this. He’s one of my favourite people and the only person I’ve always been able to count on for anything no matter what. I’ve been trying to prepare for his leaving but I can’t. I can’t. This however? This helps. Thank you.
Dear Andrea,
Your gift in full bloom.
How Divinely appointed.
Congratulations, and thank you for sharing with us.
With profound admiration,
Just thank you. This world is so lucky to have you here, opening us up and reminding us that pain is not the enemy. I miss my sister so much that every thing feels impossible. Yet, everything is still doable, being done. It was lovely to have a moment, consumed by your words and a new perspective, to do nothing more than feel her so close. Turns out, a hour ago, that was actually the most impossible thing. Thank you, Andrea.
One of my favorite writing professors at Pitt, Jeff Oaks, passed away from cancer yesterday. It’s such a monumental loss. He was an incredibly gifted poet and artist, and always lovely to speak with. I’m lucky to have been his student. I read these words in his voice and felt comforted right away. This is a beautiful poem to remember him through, and I think he’d really like it.
I adore this newsletter and your words so often touch me deeply that I almost cry reading them. This was my mother’s favorite season and I feel her with every wind’s whisper and every leaf that falls, touches that part of me that misses her.
Things that don't suck, indeed. My god what beautiful piece of writing, of truth, of hope. Thank you, Andrea.
Lovely! I shared with my neighbor who lost her spouse of 45 years in September. Blessings to you and yours this holiday season. With love, Virginia
Gorgeous.
This line made me cry: "One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited."
“At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets”--this image, and this poem, brings me to tears, remembering those who are lost and those who are still here but with whom something has been lost. Thank you for gifting us with your words and your soul, Andrea! ♥️
Hello supernova that all astronomers of grief so admire and need to see in the sky. Even at 70+ yrs young your poem "Every Time I Said..." changed my life. Your writing here as well, my inclination is to believe it does and will move further changes. I'm wondering what/who else it will change. I wanted to donate a subscription to a person of your choice, but the donate button did not work. 404 error or such. Sigh. Practicalities can be such a speed bump. I'm hoping it is not a speed bump of Practicalities to help me out if you can. Perhaps even, you would have a different idea altogether, which would not be surprising, but would bring a smile. So glad for you that you can now move in this world, and move the world, as a Laureate.