My little Sonya kitty is not too smart. She falls off armchairs and when she sleeps under a glass table jumps up and hits her little head every time. BUT there’s something about her. When my autistic child is not ok, she KNOWS. She seeks her out, curls right in and nudges her into petting. When my child won’t respond to us and is either in meltdown or shutdown they will respond to Sonya. Sonya has taught me to just be. Sometimes presence is just enough.
So good! My dog has been such a good teacher to me too. One thing I learn from him is to not hold grudges and wishes for paths not taken. Literally, in his case. When we are on a walk and he wants to go a certain way (to a dumpster for example), sometimes I have to say no. In those cases he tries a bit longer to go the way he wants, but if he sees no, we are going this other way, he just says, "ok fine!" and gets interested in sniffing the grass where we ARE going. I take that as: sure, you can have preferences and dreams, and yes, by all means try to make them happen (sometimes he does get to go to that stinky dumpster after all if I'm feeling agreeable!) but if they don't happen, then enjoy where you did end up, sniff the heck out of the grass where you are now.
I had an experience last summer with a baby bird I found in the barn. It had fallen through it's nest along with it's sibling. After leaving it alone for 12 plus hours to see if the momma came back to feed or fix the nest, I returned to find the 1 baby bird still alive, but barely. I had surfed the net and googled what to do with baby birds abandoned by their mothers. I was faced with a decision which I needed to follow with an action... or not and let the baby bird die.
I was prepared when I returned to the barn with a makeshift nest in a Sperry shoe box, A tiny condiment size Tupperware container holding room temp mashed up chicken livers and a handful of cotton swabs. From that moment forward every 30 minutes, 12-14 hours every day for 10 days and every hour the last 4 days I fed her ( Phoenix- of course!! ). Phoenix grew strong and independent and told me when she was ready to go out on her own. Funny story.... The number of days I tended to her were the exact number of days my late sister lay in hospice and the day that Phoenix flew away was the anniversary of my sisters passing. Goosebumps anyone?? Exactly.
My 14 year old Pom still looks for her. Phoenix does come around but won't come near enough for me to get a good pic. She flew right by my head the other day and sat up in a tree and sang at me. Her call is so loud!! She doesn't stop until I go out and say hi some days. She poops on my truck too. I had to take her with me to do laundry once while keeping up with her feedings, so she knows my truck. I like to think she told the other birds in the yard that I'm cool and I'm here for them too, always.
Winnie is wonderful. I’ve learned from my dog how to be an obsessive. ..and be obsessed with good things like running hard into all bodies of water and how to love a human more than yourself and how to put down the car window with a paw so you can feel the wind in your hair. I’ve learned not to take shit so seriously. Literally. Thanks Andrea. Appreciate you.
I started recovery from a long term eating disorder last year and my dietitian and I bonded over having cats. One of the first big lessons was learning to honor my body’s needs. She said to watch my cats -- they’re happy to sleep for hours and happy to get up to stretch and resettle before snoozing again. They’re tuned into their bodies, doing things that feel good to make napping *even better*. I started practicing stretching every time the cats stretched as one small step toward nourishing myself.❣️
I have learned that the soul shattering pain of losing a dog is worth the absolute joy of having dogs in my life. I will take that pain every time to allow me to have the honour of having a dog.
So, first off, I am a bird person. No pets to speak of, save for the semi-friendly (actually quite indifferent, most of them) wild birds that have learned that my yard is the one with the seed buffet. The most engaging/interactive of the birds would be the jays (we have steller’s & california scrubs), because they understand that I am the Peanut Lady, and there are no peanuts until I open the door to my porch and put them out there. Whenever I go out to do yard work, I fill a pocket with peanuts to satiate the intense stares of the jays lined up on the roof.
Currently, my favorite jay (don’t tell the others) is a steller’s who has lost its tail. This didn’t happen all at once--rather, feather by feather, over the course of the last winter. I’ve been fretting and worrying...So far, there are no new feathers growing in.
This precious friend also happens to be the one who is MOST persistent and unafraid of asking for what they want. It is not an uncommon occurrence for me to be minding my own business, making coffee or whatnot, and to suddenly jump out of my skin at a clamoring I hear at the kitchen door. When I turn to look, I see my little jay friend, clinging to the screen against the door’s window. Asking for peanuts.
Losing a tail doesn’t seem to have slowed this buddy down AT ALL. They still zip in and out of the peanut basket on my porch, taking & hiding as many peanuts as possible, and manage to fend off the other jays when they’re encroaching during the peanut selection process. I even saw my friend during a windstorm the other day--the poor dear was knocked upside down hanging off a power line! And yet--this most determined bird continued to stock up on their beloved peanuts for the remainder of the afternoon. Not discouraged ONE BIT by the complications of flying in heavy winds. No turning tail (pun intended) and hiding away at home. No getting down on themself for not being as “able” as the other jays. Ever more persistent in the face of challenges. Just as peanut-obsessed. A true inspiration. 🤍
My dog Pi...aka PiMan, Mister Man, and How Are You So Damn Adorable And Also So Damn Gross, has gifted his amazingness to us humans for 17 years (so far). What I've learned from him is that we're never "too old" to be amazing or hike mountains or jump like a goat from a chair to a couch, and that age doesn't determine value. I've learned from Pi that we all deserve love and kindness and care and we have the right to DEMAND IT 💞
I love this so much. My Lars (Lars-monster, Larsbar, Big Beast, Goober, Stinky Beast, etc.) was such an amazing teacher. Toward the end of his life, even when he could barely walk or hold his bowels, he was still all love. I would've understood it if he acted grumpy in his pain, but he never did. He was always kind and happy and full of unbridled love. Even when the vet came to my home to euthanize him, she was surprised by how lively he was at first to meet someone new. He was a big pit mix, but he had the highest pitched bark you could imagine and he never met a stranger. Ironically, the only thing he ever tried to hurt was a fly, but he couldn't ever catch them. All he wanted in life was to spend time outside, spend time inside cuddling, eat, sleep, and play occasionally. He taught me that the basics are all we need to have joy in our lives. He also taught me how to grieve for the first time in my life.
My dogs have taught me that if I need attention, climb over closer. Our lab Daisy Belle will physical adjust her proximity to me until she gets her belly scratched, head rubbed, or face kissed. She is seemingly unaware of her weight, poor timing related to what I am doing when she wants more lovin, or whether it’s convenient. Just today she climbed almost onto my husbands chest to lay across him and be loved on. Maybe I will try the same 🙂
Dogs are everything. Also just learnt about this topic - I learnt it as secondary suffering. Such a huge burden we lay on ourselves. Sometimes vastly outweighing the original pain! Wise words as always. Thank you and thank the universe for dogs ! ♥️
I have a 1991 Winnebago named Winnie! And two dogs. I very much appreciate your insights about the ways we compound our own suffering, compared to our furry friends for whom every moment is a new moment. I also try to remind myself to adopt the perspective of “puppy brain” when I notice I’m spiraling. Dogs are the best! XOXO
sorry in advance I'm long winded. I have two lessons from my gecko. One is the more obvious. This one is the less.
I have a Gecko Martin named after Martin Gore from Depeche Mode. That's a different story. I wanted a dog, yet my life was so rife with movement and unpredictability that it seemed unwise and unfair. A last-minute decision on a hard day in 2019, a day when my heart had been broken: I walked into Peto in down Brooklyn after having cried in the park and walked out with a tiny Gecko. He weighed slightly more than ½ of an oz. I knew nothing about caring for him, and as I discovered later, neither did the 17-year-old who sold him to me.
Martin does not love like what I know of mammals. I can't know what he feels; fear is the only emotion he shows I can recognize— what I do know is that I love him. I love him with every piece of my being.
One of my Buddhist teachers once said, "Love is the same thing as paying attention." He said, "I see you is another way to say I love you." I did not know I could love a tiny reptile, and I do. I now realize I love Martin because I care for him. I didn't know this was what love was before. His survival and comfort depended on me—I have to tend to him with so much detail and care— and I realized that that is love.
Martin is now 2.5 oz; when he gets scared, and is not hiding, he tries to make his body as big as he can manage. I imagine him thinking that he is a dragon, something ten times larger—I smile, thinking we are not that different.
I did not think it was possible to love a being that does not run to the door when I come home, to love one who sometimes seems happier when I'm gone.
Martin has taught me what I am paying attention to and that the quality of that attention determines the love that I experience. I expect nothing from Martin, yet he teaches me what love is— kind attention.
My cat, Cleopatra, teaches me that I'm not everyone's favorite flavor. I'm a people-pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist. I had been wanting and hoping for a cat to care for, another creature who NEEDED me. I have three kids and a loving partner, but I felt a pull towards bringing an animal into our home. Turns out, I'm not her type. She tolerates me, but she LOVES my husband TREMENDOUSLY more. I'm still working on accepting that my emotional support animal isn't into me, and I can't help but love her obnoxiously. Oh well <3
My little Sonya kitty is not too smart. She falls off armchairs and when she sleeps under a glass table jumps up and hits her little head every time. BUT there’s something about her. When my autistic child is not ok, she KNOWS. She seeks her out, curls right in and nudges her into petting. When my child won’t respond to us and is either in meltdown or shutdown they will respond to Sonya. Sonya has taught me to just be. Sometimes presence is just enough.
So good! My dog has been such a good teacher to me too. One thing I learn from him is to not hold grudges and wishes for paths not taken. Literally, in his case. When we are on a walk and he wants to go a certain way (to a dumpster for example), sometimes I have to say no. In those cases he tries a bit longer to go the way he wants, but if he sees no, we are going this other way, he just says, "ok fine!" and gets interested in sniffing the grass where we ARE going. I take that as: sure, you can have preferences and dreams, and yes, by all means try to make them happen (sometimes he does get to go to that stinky dumpster after all if I'm feeling agreeable!) but if they don't happen, then enjoy where you did end up, sniff the heck out of the grass where you are now.
I had an experience last summer with a baby bird I found in the barn. It had fallen through it's nest along with it's sibling. After leaving it alone for 12 plus hours to see if the momma came back to feed or fix the nest, I returned to find the 1 baby bird still alive, but barely. I had surfed the net and googled what to do with baby birds abandoned by their mothers. I was faced with a decision which I needed to follow with an action... or not and let the baby bird die.
I was prepared when I returned to the barn with a makeshift nest in a Sperry shoe box, A tiny condiment size Tupperware container holding room temp mashed up chicken livers and a handful of cotton swabs. From that moment forward every 30 minutes, 12-14 hours every day for 10 days and every hour the last 4 days I fed her ( Phoenix- of course!! ). Phoenix grew strong and independent and told me when she was ready to go out on her own. Funny story.... The number of days I tended to her were the exact number of days my late sister lay in hospice and the day that Phoenix flew away was the anniversary of my sisters passing. Goosebumps anyone?? Exactly.
My 14 year old Pom still looks for her. Phoenix does come around but won't come near enough for me to get a good pic. She flew right by my head the other day and sat up in a tree and sang at me. Her call is so loud!! She doesn't stop until I go out and say hi some days. She poops on my truck too. I had to take her with me to do laundry once while keeping up with her feedings, so she knows my truck. I like to think she told the other birds in the yard that I'm cool and I'm here for them too, always.
Winnie is wonderful. I’ve learned from my dog how to be an obsessive. ..and be obsessed with good things like running hard into all bodies of water and how to love a human more than yourself and how to put down the car window with a paw so you can feel the wind in your hair. I’ve learned not to take shit so seriously. Literally. Thanks Andrea. Appreciate you.
I started recovery from a long term eating disorder last year and my dietitian and I bonded over having cats. One of the first big lessons was learning to honor my body’s needs. She said to watch my cats -- they’re happy to sleep for hours and happy to get up to stretch and resettle before snoozing again. They’re tuned into their bodies, doing things that feel good to make napping *even better*. I started practicing stretching every time the cats stretched as one small step toward nourishing myself.❣️
Unconditional love 🖤
No grudges. My dog holds zero grudges. It's beautiful and powerful. I've learned a lot from her.
I have learned that the soul shattering pain of losing a dog is worth the absolute joy of having dogs in my life. I will take that pain every time to allow me to have the honour of having a dog.
So, first off, I am a bird person. No pets to speak of, save for the semi-friendly (actually quite indifferent, most of them) wild birds that have learned that my yard is the one with the seed buffet. The most engaging/interactive of the birds would be the jays (we have steller’s & california scrubs), because they understand that I am the Peanut Lady, and there are no peanuts until I open the door to my porch and put them out there. Whenever I go out to do yard work, I fill a pocket with peanuts to satiate the intense stares of the jays lined up on the roof.
Currently, my favorite jay (don’t tell the others) is a steller’s who has lost its tail. This didn’t happen all at once--rather, feather by feather, over the course of the last winter. I’ve been fretting and worrying...So far, there are no new feathers growing in.
This precious friend also happens to be the one who is MOST persistent and unafraid of asking for what they want. It is not an uncommon occurrence for me to be minding my own business, making coffee or whatnot, and to suddenly jump out of my skin at a clamoring I hear at the kitchen door. When I turn to look, I see my little jay friend, clinging to the screen against the door’s window. Asking for peanuts.
Losing a tail doesn’t seem to have slowed this buddy down AT ALL. They still zip in and out of the peanut basket on my porch, taking & hiding as many peanuts as possible, and manage to fend off the other jays when they’re encroaching during the peanut selection process. I even saw my friend during a windstorm the other day--the poor dear was knocked upside down hanging off a power line! And yet--this most determined bird continued to stock up on their beloved peanuts for the remainder of the afternoon. Not discouraged ONE BIT by the complications of flying in heavy winds. No turning tail (pun intended) and hiding away at home. No getting down on themself for not being as “able” as the other jays. Ever more persistent in the face of challenges. Just as peanut-obsessed. A true inspiration. 🤍
My dog Pi...aka PiMan, Mister Man, and How Are You So Damn Adorable And Also So Damn Gross, has gifted his amazingness to us humans for 17 years (so far). What I've learned from him is that we're never "too old" to be amazing or hike mountains or jump like a goat from a chair to a couch, and that age doesn't determine value. I've learned from Pi that we all deserve love and kindness and care and we have the right to DEMAND IT 💞
I love this so much. My Lars (Lars-monster, Larsbar, Big Beast, Goober, Stinky Beast, etc.) was such an amazing teacher. Toward the end of his life, even when he could barely walk or hold his bowels, he was still all love. I would've understood it if he acted grumpy in his pain, but he never did. He was always kind and happy and full of unbridled love. Even when the vet came to my home to euthanize him, she was surprised by how lively he was at first to meet someone new. He was a big pit mix, but he had the highest pitched bark you could imagine and he never met a stranger. Ironically, the only thing he ever tried to hurt was a fly, but he couldn't ever catch them. All he wanted in life was to spend time outside, spend time inside cuddling, eat, sleep, and play occasionally. He taught me that the basics are all we need to have joy in our lives. He also taught me how to grieve for the first time in my life.
My dogs have taught me that if I need attention, climb over closer. Our lab Daisy Belle will physical adjust her proximity to me until she gets her belly scratched, head rubbed, or face kissed. She is seemingly unaware of her weight, poor timing related to what I am doing when she wants more lovin, or whether it’s convenient. Just today she climbed almost onto my husbands chest to lay across him and be loved on. Maybe I will try the same 🙂
Dogs are everything. Also just learnt about this topic - I learnt it as secondary suffering. Such a huge burden we lay on ourselves. Sometimes vastly outweighing the original pain! Wise words as always. Thank you and thank the universe for dogs ! ♥️
I have a 1991 Winnebago named Winnie! And two dogs. I very much appreciate your insights about the ways we compound our own suffering, compared to our furry friends for whom every moment is a new moment. I also try to remind myself to adopt the perspective of “puppy brain” when I notice I’m spiraling. Dogs are the best! XOXO
sorry in advance I'm long winded. I have two lessons from my gecko. One is the more obvious. This one is the less.
I have a Gecko Martin named after Martin Gore from Depeche Mode. That's a different story. I wanted a dog, yet my life was so rife with movement and unpredictability that it seemed unwise and unfair. A last-minute decision on a hard day in 2019, a day when my heart had been broken: I walked into Peto in down Brooklyn after having cried in the park and walked out with a tiny Gecko. He weighed slightly more than ½ of an oz. I knew nothing about caring for him, and as I discovered later, neither did the 17-year-old who sold him to me.
Martin does not love like what I know of mammals. I can't know what he feels; fear is the only emotion he shows I can recognize— what I do know is that I love him. I love him with every piece of my being.
One of my Buddhist teachers once said, "Love is the same thing as paying attention." He said, "I see you is another way to say I love you." I did not know I could love a tiny reptile, and I do. I now realize I love Martin because I care for him. I didn't know this was what love was before. His survival and comfort depended on me—I have to tend to him with so much detail and care— and I realized that that is love.
Martin is now 2.5 oz; when he gets scared, and is not hiding, he tries to make his body as big as he can manage. I imagine him thinking that he is a dragon, something ten times larger—I smile, thinking we are not that different.
I did not think it was possible to love a being that does not run to the door when I come home, to love one who sometimes seems happier when I'm gone.
Martin has taught me what I am paying attention to and that the quality of that attention determines the love that I experience. I expect nothing from Martin, yet he teaches me what love is— kind attention.
My cat, Cleopatra, teaches me that I'm not everyone's favorite flavor. I'm a people-pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist. I had been wanting and hoping for a cat to care for, another creature who NEEDED me. I have three kids and a loving partner, but I felt a pull towards bringing an animal into our home. Turns out, I'm not her type. She tolerates me, but she LOVES my husband TREMENDOUSLY more. I'm still working on accepting that my emotional support animal isn't into me, and I can't help but love her obnoxiously. Oh well <3
Jessie