My mom died exactly a week before my youngest was born via a surrogate in early December. She had been my best friend for my of my life. What surprised me most in that week was how vidid the colors of there world were. It was as if everything was in technicolor. I finally pulled together a memorial service in May - after I had gotten through the beginning infant months. I then hosted monthly coffee hours in honor of my mom. Everyone at the church knew and they would come through the line and let me scoop onto their plate eggs and muffins and pie slices while asking me about my mom. It was the absolute best thing. Frankly, your experience sounds like a master class in grief and grieving. I mean just look at all that love.
I’ve found such value reading your grief processing, and often wondered what it would be like to be doing it so publicly.
I agree, this culture doesn’t know how to grieve, yet how wonderful you get to continually honor your love, and be leaning into it surrounded by like-minded people (who also adored them).
We are mostly left to invent our own rituals and try to somehow integrate this staggering pain into our lives, and it’s the loneliest I’ve ever been.
I lost my daughter Ava, my world, at 19 year old just a year ago to cancer. My son had died previously to a brain tumor, at just 2 years old. So my whole life now is about grief. As Margaret Atwood put so succinctly, “I exist in two places, here and where you are.” I am no longer completely of this earth because the people I love the most (and am biologically wired to care for) are somewhere else. My heart is consumed with them. Especially my Ava, who was my joy and partner in all things; my future and my family.
Grief is something none of us can avoid, yet when it happens to you (especially with your big loves) it’s amazing how so few lean in to witness your pain. They don’t want to be reminded it could happen to them.
Thank you for having such a brave and beautiful love, and sharing it all.
I am so grateful to you and to Andrea for being our collective grief doulas, showing us how it's done, how death (allegedly) ends a life - or a part of a life - but not the love, not the person. I did not know Andrea, but I still feel them so much with me and I know they'll always be a life guide. Just as you, sweet Meg, are my teacher (literally), my sage, my sweet unmet sister, the guardian angelfish of Andrea's memory and legacy, the seer showing us the beautiful world through your eyes.
Thank you thank you for validating those of us who want to grieve OUT LOUD! Too often people want to avoid the subject, but I LOVE talking about my “late” mom with anyone & everyone…it keeps her alive. Thank you for reassuring us this is ok. ❤️
I've been grieving a decades old loss for the first time really, with community and found family, letting myself finally feel it. It helps to see a depiction of grieving that fits outside what so many deem normal. Thank you for sharing
This is so beautiful, thank you for your post, for opening the door for those to speak their grief out loud. My husband and I watched your film this weekend. We live in Colorado, work for UCHealth and I’ve walked through the buildings Andrea received treatment. I’ve driven through Longmont and Denver (we live in Fort Collins) and there was such familiarity in the b-roll. The film was so beautifully done, the intimate glimpses of your life together, your love for each other, the love that encompassed Andrea’s life. Thank you for the gifts you have both given the world, through your words and books and film. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Please keep showing the world how you’re walking through this and know there are many of us applauding you.
Dearest Meg and Andrea,thank you always for articulating what the rest of us cannot.To grieve is a privilege as it means we experienced love in this world.Thank you for sharing Andrea with us.A time where nobody would judge you for holding on in private.This film,your love story is profoundly changing the world one person at a time.I know Andrea has changed me for the better.Your story,Andrea’s life gives me hope for humanity especially right in this moment.
So thank you from little New Zealand know that Andrea is changing lives in this little corner of the world.
Someone said of Stephen Sondheim, soon after he passed, "How incredible that he gave us the very words with which to grieve him." I very much feel the same of Andrea. 🖤💛
Sondheim is another artist I grew up with and who informed my worldview in a different context (though not quite so connected to my own identity and experiences). Thank you for so beautifully making that connection. I agree, completely. 🖤
What a gift to have these scenes. I grieve in nature, I grieve with my friends, I grieve with you and Andrea each time I hear their words reach my ears. Thank you so much for sharing. Such a gift to become a speaker for the dead (allegedly). My heart hurts everyday from the missing of them. I can’t imagine the strength it takes to face this grief in public, on a stage. Yet, again the theme of community and how we heal through community and love runs strong through each of your beautiful essays. Keep living it damn it! It’s what they’d want! Big love to you Meg <3
Thank you Meg for grieving so openly and sharing your love for Andrea with us. You’ve given grief a new life and allowing it to not be on a timeline. You’ve given grief grace and kindness to let us in. May you continue to love and thru Andrea in healing the world as you heal. ❤️🩹
Hi Megan! How are You? Hope You are well :) My name is Fran and i m writing to You from Buenos Aires. I am working now as a writxr and translatxr for El Olmo y las Peras, a tiny publish house in Buenos Aires, and i would like to prepare and translate an anthology of Andrea s poems into Argentinian tongue. I d like to know if it would be possible and the steps that we should Maje to get the foreign rights to translate these poems. Hope You understand My basic English 😃🖤 Thank You for letting Andrea s bright still shining on us 🍀💖 Love.
What a gift to be able to grieve out loud and have your beloved still alive within you and your stories. After my childhood best friend died in a car accident at 31, her friends and I would celebrate her birthday and death date every year by sharing our best Jaime stories online. It helped me feel like she was still with me.
My mom died exactly a week before my youngest was born via a surrogate in early December. She had been my best friend for my of my life. What surprised me most in that week was how vidid the colors of there world were. It was as if everything was in technicolor. I finally pulled together a memorial service in May - after I had gotten through the beginning infant months. I then hosted monthly coffee hours in honor of my mom. Everyone at the church knew and they would come through the line and let me scoop onto their plate eggs and muffins and pie slices while asking me about my mom. It was the absolute best thing. Frankly, your experience sounds like a master class in grief and grieving. I mean just look at all that love.
I’ve found such value reading your grief processing, and often wondered what it would be like to be doing it so publicly.
I agree, this culture doesn’t know how to grieve, yet how wonderful you get to continually honor your love, and be leaning into it surrounded by like-minded people (who also adored them).
We are mostly left to invent our own rituals and try to somehow integrate this staggering pain into our lives, and it’s the loneliest I’ve ever been.
I lost my daughter Ava, my world, at 19 year old just a year ago to cancer. My son had died previously to a brain tumor, at just 2 years old. So my whole life now is about grief. As Margaret Atwood put so succinctly, “I exist in two places, here and where you are.” I am no longer completely of this earth because the people I love the most (and am biologically wired to care for) are somewhere else. My heart is consumed with them. Especially my Ava, who was my joy and partner in all things; my future and my family.
Grief is something none of us can avoid, yet when it happens to you (especially with your big loves) it’s amazing how so few lean in to witness your pain. They don’t want to be reminded it could happen to them.
Thank you for having such a brave and beautiful love, and sharing it all.
You have a place in my heart. I hold your hand & send love to all of us.
❤️🙏
I feel this in my heart. How you've managed to write your pain with beauty, as Meg does. I'm so sorry for your losses.
thank you so much.
My heart is ripped out of my chest for you
that’s exactly how I feel, too. I struggle to believe it’s true.
How could it be real. With a 1.5 y/o and 19 y/o I can feel it with my whole body
Thank you, Meg.
I am so grateful to you and to Andrea for being our collective grief doulas, showing us how it's done, how death (allegedly) ends a life - or a part of a life - but not the love, not the person. I did not know Andrea, but I still feel them so much with me and I know they'll always be a life guide. Just as you, sweet Meg, are my teacher (literally), my sage, my sweet unmet sister, the guardian angelfish of Andrea's memory and legacy, the seer showing us the beautiful world through your eyes.
Thank you thank you for validating those of us who want to grieve OUT LOUD! Too often people want to avoid the subject, but I LOVE talking about my “late” mom with anyone & everyone…it keeps her alive. Thank you for reassuring us this is ok. ❤️
I've been grieving a decades old loss for the first time really, with community and found family, letting myself finally feel it. It helps to see a depiction of grieving that fits outside what so many deem normal. Thank you for sharing
This is so beautiful, thank you for your post, for opening the door for those to speak their grief out loud. My husband and I watched your film this weekend. We live in Colorado, work for UCHealth and I’ve walked through the buildings Andrea received treatment. I’ve driven through Longmont and Denver (we live in Fort Collins) and there was such familiarity in the b-roll. The film was so beautifully done, the intimate glimpses of your life together, your love for each other, the love that encompassed Andrea’s life. Thank you for the gifts you have both given the world, through your words and books and film. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Please keep showing the world how you’re walking through this and know there are many of us applauding you.
A great lesson in how grief looks different for everyone. Thanks for sharing!
Dearest Meg and Andrea,thank you always for articulating what the rest of us cannot.To grieve is a privilege as it means we experienced love in this world.Thank you for sharing Andrea with us.A time where nobody would judge you for holding on in private.This film,your love story is profoundly changing the world one person at a time.I know Andrea has changed me for the better.Your story,Andrea’s life gives me hope for humanity especially right in this moment.
So thank you from little New Zealand know that Andrea is changing lives in this little corner of the world.
We love you so much.Xxx
thank you for sharing meg your beautiful love. andrea reading
the love poem made me weep
Andrea's work was instrumental in teaching me to grieve. Especially in teaching me to grieve graciously, and to grieve without a body to mourn.
Thank you for continuing to share the love they still pour into your life. 🖤
Someone said of Stephen Sondheim, soon after he passed, "How incredible that he gave us the very words with which to grieve him." I very much feel the same of Andrea. 🖤💛
Sondheim is another artist I grew up with and who informed my worldview in a different context (though not quite so connected to my own identity and experiences). Thank you for so beautifully making that connection. I agree, completely. 🖤
What a gift to have these scenes. I grieve in nature, I grieve with my friends, I grieve with you and Andrea each time I hear their words reach my ears. Thank you so much for sharing. Such a gift to become a speaker for the dead (allegedly). My heart hurts everyday from the missing of them. I can’t imagine the strength it takes to face this grief in public, on a stage. Yet, again the theme of community and how we heal through community and love runs strong through each of your beautiful essays. Keep living it damn it! It’s what they’d want! Big love to you Meg <3
Thank you Meg for grieving so openly and sharing your love for Andrea with us. You’ve given grief a new life and allowing it to not be on a timeline. You’ve given grief grace and kindness to let us in. May you continue to love and thru Andrea in healing the world as you heal. ❤️🩹
Hi Megan! How are You? Hope You are well :) My name is Fran and i m writing to You from Buenos Aires. I am working now as a writxr and translatxr for El Olmo y las Peras, a tiny publish house in Buenos Aires, and i would like to prepare and translate an anthology of Andrea s poems into Argentinian tongue. I d like to know if it would be possible and the steps that we should Maje to get the foreign rights to translate these poems. Hope You understand My basic English 😃🖤 Thank You for letting Andrea s bright still shining on us 🍀💖 Love.
Fran
What a gift to be able to grieve out loud and have your beloved still alive within you and your stories. After my childhood best friend died in a car accident at 31, her friends and I would celebrate her birthday and death date every year by sharing our best Jaime stories online. It helped me feel like she was still with me.
I embrace this version of grief over blackout curtains, for sure. And this version of After Life Revivals :-) XhugeHugsX Even as I miss them, too