Every time I get one of your posts in my inbox, my heart explodes (in a soft, gooey nice way). Like, just the energy of what you're transmitting is so...GOOD. Thank you, Andrea. I can't wait to see what new beauty and insights 2025 brings. And yes, here's to loving the Old Me. I think I will make a toast to her(s) tonight. ❤️
After my enlightenment experience last year I too felt this immense peace and the total absence of anxiety and nostalgia for the first time ever which was exilarating. But over time the feeling faded and this past year has been spent fighting the tension between who I want to be and who I used to be within myself. In truth I have felt a bit lost recently. It is often hard to be compassionate and have grace for my past self, but these words reinforced for me the importance of doing so. I have to completely let go of the past failures before I can build a new foundation for approaching life free of fear and judgement. My new years resolutions will be learning to love myself completely, flaws and all, and cultivating a greater acceotance of others and the world around me just as they are, not how I wish they could be.
It is SO tempting to hate on our previous selves. But having grace for previous versions of myself helps me to have grace for everyone. And that's the person I want to be, full of grace.
Forgiving our Old Selves is the most difficult process. And it is a process. It has been nearly 21 years since I left an abusive marriage. Just the other day I realized that I had to actually do the math when someone asked. I used to be able to state the number of years and months off the top of my head. Something happened about 15 years ago, though.
I had the realization that my entire identity had been defined (by me and the world) by the abuse we'd lived through/survived. When I decided that I am more than a survivor of DV, that I am a mother, a poet, a writer, a friend, and a loving human being existing in this world, I started living differently. I started making choices about how I wanted things to be different. At 42 I applied to undergrad to get that English degree. At 49, I applied to law school (I'd always wanted to be a lawyer) and, after a little bit of effort and 3 years, I am a lawyer, working in Indian Country with a tribal nation I absolutely love, in a place I adore. I got busy living my life instead of reciting and repeating to anyone who would listen what it "had been." It wasn't easy. Growing away from the pain is never easy, but it is always worth it. I learned to take responsibility for my part in the abuse (not that I deserved it but that I could have, probably should have, left earlier than I did as I stayed nearly 17 years!). I learned to appreciate the love around me and the blue skies over the desert and the monsoon thunderstorms in the summer and the joy of a great meal with friends or my kids. I love that Old Me because she got me here. She is still a part of me, but she's gone ahead and retired, sitting in a rocker on a porch in my heart, living her best life and watching me live mine.
Thank you, Andrea, as always for the reminder. Happy New Year to you and yours.
I no longer wish others a happy holiday or happy new year. We all know that this new year will be very difficult for anyone looking at human existence for what it is.
Instead, if I were into wishes—which is an expression of hope to help mute reality—I would wish everyone the endurance and strength to experience life for what it is without poisoning one’s own consciousness with resentment, hate, righteousness. None of us are RIGHT. None of us are WRONG.
May you not wage a war against your old self in a crusade of plenary indulgence seeking a new self with New Year’s resolutions that may defeat a metaphorical Jerusalem at the expense of a genocide against your old self.
I do not forgive my old self. There is nothing to FORGIVE. I did the best I could at the time.
As compassionate as I consider myself to be, reading this shined a light on a very sneaky place in me. The muscles working to make me more compassionate were actually pushing away my former self, my less compassionate self. Your words helped me drop down under the waves and be more in my ocean self… where all of it, all of it is love. And lovable.
This really sunk deep into me this morning. In my mindfulness reading group today we are talking about the practice of loving kindness and the importance of loving yourself first. After reading your words today, I see that I am trying so hard to separate myself from past me who behaved in ways that I feel such shame about. Today I will offer all of the me-s I've been that loving kindness. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Andrea, for sharing your life experiences with such openness and insight. Your perspective is a beautiful reminder that growth and healing are not about becoming estranged from who we once were, but about allowing the Old You, the New You, and the Future You to meet in a spirit of love, tolerance, and compassion. Your words hold so much wisdom, and they’ve truly inspired me. Needless to say, I’m a big admirer—not just of your words, but of the way you live your life with such authenticity and grace. Thank you for being such a shining example and cheers to a wonderful 2025 💛!
Omg omg omg I just don’t understand how you can write so beautifully and out into words every emotion a human can feel. You are a gift , a light, a being of such great wisdom to behold . Thank you thank you for sharing your heart mind and soul xo Happy New Year
Your words meet me in a hospital bed at home where I am coming to terms with a major injury. As I swim through the grief, and pain, I do my best to remember to be present to it all.
I pay attention to the glimmers that are all around me. I work with parts of myself in meditation, and that has given me the grace to know that I can offer compassion to all the parts of me.
This morning I was in a recovery meeting where hope was the topic. Someone shared that they had to forgive themselves, and I wept.
I need to forgive myself for the mindset that caused this injury. It’s a tough lesson to learn. In any case, your words brought comfort 🙏🏻💛✨
Thank you Andrea! I always appreciate your wise and helpful words. "True healing requires integration, not rejection." Such a meaningful reminder. I have gone back in time and sat with so many rejected versions of myself throughout my healing journey. I apologize, I listen, I allow them to cry, I sit with their pain, I hold them close and invite them back into the light. It is miraculous and life giving to be able to be with it all.
Thank you for sharing your loving heart and the depths of your truth.
Wishing you many blessings of love and healing miracles today and always.
OMG Andrea. The dentist took out the wrong tooth?!?! I may never recover from that mention. But, as always, your gorgeous words hit deep in my soul. Oddly and similarly, multiple diagnoses have been a path for me to become more me which is why I also SO appreciate your friend Ethel's wisdom and will hold onto her words too. Old me, new me, broken me, thriving me...thank you for the reminder to work on extending loving care all of me. xo
Thank you, Susan! Yes, the dentist took out the wrong tooth and I still can't write about it without laughing. It was too ridiculous to not laugh at. Happy New Year!
Laughing at the ridiculous-ness that can happen with these very human bodies we live in is sometimes my favorite way (or the only way?) to cope too! Thank
you for sharing your experiences with such open hearted honesty and grace. Happy New Year! 🎉❤️
This paragraph is deep: "The more we change, the more we must commit to loving the people we were before we changed. The most transformative moment in my journey these past years was realizing that New Me wasn’t extending love to Old Me. This realization hit me in the middle of the night. I woke up and saw that I didn’t just dislike Old Me—I was terrified of Old Me. I feared returning to being anxious, blaming, defensive, and closed off. I hated the idea of returning to a life filled with chronic dissatisfaction, bending to the weight of others’ judgments, and chasing the approval of the world." Recently, after feeling painful disagreements with family members who are living my former patterns, the ones learned in family, culture, religion, etc, and have not been shaken in the same way in the night with grace to change. These parts I was not loving, I don't have to agree but I can be kind, soft, undefended in my heart—to not cause more pain, as if I do it lands directly in me. They are a mirror. Anyway, if that makes sense I appreciate your words and life movement.
Best piece of wisdom for 2024--and just in time. "A new sense of peace found me—not in the absence of hardship, but in ceasing to resist it, in learning to meet life as it is." Transformation is such a big word, a hot topic, and popular among thousands selling coaching services and online products. This is the first mention of commitment to loving the person you are before the desired change or transformation. That seems to be an intense, dedicated, courageous deep dive exploration into the Natural State of You. Andrea is the first one to point that out as Step One before taking on transformation.
Every time I get one of your posts in my inbox, my heart explodes (in a soft, gooey nice way). Like, just the energy of what you're transmitting is so...GOOD. Thank you, Andrea. I can't wait to see what new beauty and insights 2025 brings. And yes, here's to loving the Old Me. I think I will make a toast to her(s) tonight. ❤️
Thank you so much, Bonnie!
After my enlightenment experience last year I too felt this immense peace and the total absence of anxiety and nostalgia for the first time ever which was exilarating. But over time the feeling faded and this past year has been spent fighting the tension between who I want to be and who I used to be within myself. In truth I have felt a bit lost recently. It is often hard to be compassionate and have grace for my past self, but these words reinforced for me the importance of doing so. I have to completely let go of the past failures before I can build a new foundation for approaching life free of fear and judgement. My new years resolutions will be learning to love myself completely, flaws and all, and cultivating a greater acceotance of others and the world around me just as they are, not how I wish they could be.
I feel the same! Andrea speaks so directly to the human experience .. right to the heart of it all ❤️
It is SO tempting to hate on our previous selves. But having grace for previous versions of myself helps me to have grace for everyone. And that's the person I want to be, full of grace.
Forgiving our Old Selves is the most difficult process. And it is a process. It has been nearly 21 years since I left an abusive marriage. Just the other day I realized that I had to actually do the math when someone asked. I used to be able to state the number of years and months off the top of my head. Something happened about 15 years ago, though.
I had the realization that my entire identity had been defined (by me and the world) by the abuse we'd lived through/survived. When I decided that I am more than a survivor of DV, that I am a mother, a poet, a writer, a friend, and a loving human being existing in this world, I started living differently. I started making choices about how I wanted things to be different. At 42 I applied to undergrad to get that English degree. At 49, I applied to law school (I'd always wanted to be a lawyer) and, after a little bit of effort and 3 years, I am a lawyer, working in Indian Country with a tribal nation I absolutely love, in a place I adore. I got busy living my life instead of reciting and repeating to anyone who would listen what it "had been." It wasn't easy. Growing away from the pain is never easy, but it is always worth it. I learned to take responsibility for my part in the abuse (not that I deserved it but that I could have, probably should have, left earlier than I did as I stayed nearly 17 years!). I learned to appreciate the love around me and the blue skies over the desert and the monsoon thunderstorms in the summer and the joy of a great meal with friends or my kids. I love that Old Me because she got me here. She is still a part of me, but she's gone ahead and retired, sitting in a rocker on a porch in my heart, living her best life and watching me live mine.
Thank you, Andrea, as always for the reminder. Happy New Year to you and yours.
Thank you for sharing your story. I resonate deeply with your words 🙏🏻💛✨
Forgiving your old self?
A new year
I no longer wish others a happy holiday or happy new year. We all know that this new year will be very difficult for anyone looking at human existence for what it is.
Instead, if I were into wishes—which is an expression of hope to help mute reality—I would wish everyone the endurance and strength to experience life for what it is without poisoning one’s own consciousness with resentment, hate, righteousness. None of us are RIGHT. None of us are WRONG.
May you not wage a war against your old self in a crusade of plenary indulgence seeking a new self with New Year’s resolutions that may defeat a metaphorical Jerusalem at the expense of a genocide against your old self.
I do not forgive my old self. There is nothing to FORGIVE. I did the best I could at the time.
As compassionate as I consider myself to be, reading this shined a light on a very sneaky place in me. The muscles working to make me more compassionate were actually pushing away my former self, my less compassionate self. Your words helped me drop down under the waves and be more in my ocean self… where all of it, all of it is love. And lovable.
I live this imagery, Tina, thank you 🙏🏻💛✨
This really sunk deep into me this morning. In my mindfulness reading group today we are talking about the practice of loving kindness and the importance of loving yourself first. After reading your words today, I see that I am trying so hard to separate myself from past me who behaved in ways that I feel such shame about. Today I will offer all of the me-s I've been that loving kindness. Thank you.
Thank you, Carla.
Thank you so much, Andrea, for sharing your life experiences with such openness and insight. Your perspective is a beautiful reminder that growth and healing are not about becoming estranged from who we once were, but about allowing the Old You, the New You, and the Future You to meet in a spirit of love, tolerance, and compassion. Your words hold so much wisdom, and they’ve truly inspired me. Needless to say, I’m a big admirer—not just of your words, but of the way you live your life with such authenticity and grace. Thank you for being such a shining example and cheers to a wonderful 2025 💛!
Wow! One of the best reads of 2024 on the eve of 2025. Andrea, Thank you for sharing your timeless wisdom.
Thank you for reminding me to love the Old Me, Andrea! Receiving and reading your words was a lovely birthday gift as I celebrate my 47th year today.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday! I will be 48 on Saturday. ❤️
Thanks, Bonnie! Happy early Birthday to you, too!
Thank you as always, for writing the words my soul needs to hear 😭
Omg omg omg I just don’t understand how you can write so beautifully and out into words every emotion a human can feel. You are a gift , a light, a being of such great wisdom to behold . Thank you thank you for sharing your heart mind and soul xo Happy New Year
thank you so much Dawn! Happy New Year!
Thank you Andrea.
Your words meet me in a hospital bed at home where I am coming to terms with a major injury. As I swim through the grief, and pain, I do my best to remember to be present to it all.
I pay attention to the glimmers that are all around me. I work with parts of myself in meditation, and that has given me the grace to know that I can offer compassion to all the parts of me.
This morning I was in a recovery meeting where hope was the topic. Someone shared that they had to forgive themselves, and I wept.
I need to forgive myself for the mindset that caused this injury. It’s a tough lesson to learn. In any case, your words brought comfort 🙏🏻💛✨
Love to you Natalie. ❤️
Thank you Andrea! I always appreciate your wise and helpful words. "True healing requires integration, not rejection." Such a meaningful reminder. I have gone back in time and sat with so many rejected versions of myself throughout my healing journey. I apologize, I listen, I allow them to cry, I sit with their pain, I hold them close and invite them back into the light. It is miraculous and life giving to be able to be with it all.
Thank you for sharing your loving heart and the depths of your truth.
Wishing you many blessings of love and healing miracles today and always.
Love,
Heather
❤️
OMG Andrea. The dentist took out the wrong tooth?!?! I may never recover from that mention. But, as always, your gorgeous words hit deep in my soul. Oddly and similarly, multiple diagnoses have been a path for me to become more me which is why I also SO appreciate your friend Ethel's wisdom and will hold onto her words too. Old me, new me, broken me, thriving me...thank you for the reminder to work on extending loving care all of me. xo
Thank you, Susan! Yes, the dentist took out the wrong tooth and I still can't write about it without laughing. It was too ridiculous to not laugh at. Happy New Year!
Laughing at the ridiculous-ness that can happen with these very human bodies we live in is sometimes my favorite way (or the only way?) to cope too! Thank
you for sharing your experiences with such open hearted honesty and grace. Happy New Year! 🎉❤️
This paragraph is deep: "The more we change, the more we must commit to loving the people we were before we changed. The most transformative moment in my journey these past years was realizing that New Me wasn’t extending love to Old Me. This realization hit me in the middle of the night. I woke up and saw that I didn’t just dislike Old Me—I was terrified of Old Me. I feared returning to being anxious, blaming, defensive, and closed off. I hated the idea of returning to a life filled with chronic dissatisfaction, bending to the weight of others’ judgments, and chasing the approval of the world." Recently, after feeling painful disagreements with family members who are living my former patterns, the ones learned in family, culture, religion, etc, and have not been shaken in the same way in the night with grace to change. These parts I was not loving, I don't have to agree but I can be kind, soft, undefended in my heart—to not cause more pain, as if I do it lands directly in me. They are a mirror. Anyway, if that makes sense I appreciate your words and life movement.
Best piece of wisdom for 2024--and just in time. "A new sense of peace found me—not in the absence of hardship, but in ceasing to resist it, in learning to meet life as it is." Transformation is such a big word, a hot topic, and popular among thousands selling coaching services and online products. This is the first mention of commitment to loving the person you are before the desired change or transformation. That seems to be an intense, dedicated, courageous deep dive exploration into the Natural State of You. Andrea is the first one to point that out as Step One before taking on transformation.
Beautiful ❤️
Exquisite. Thank you, Andrea "The more we change, the more we must commit to loving the people we were before we changed."
❤️