Hey Andrea, I'm Irish, did you know that in Irish, we don't say I am sad or I am happy, like we do in English.
The direct translation is more like this..
Tá brón orm, (I am sad) is ‘I have sadness on me’.
Tá athas orm (I am happy) is 'I have happiness on me.
or even
Tá ochras orm (I am hungry) is 'I have hunger on me'.
I love this.
I think it's a much better way of understanding and expressing emotion. To say a person is sad is such a heavy thing to say. In Irish, the language allows us, encourages us even, to understand that our emotions can come upon us and leave us. They don't define or whole being. xx Rósín
Roisin -- thanks for the reminder of this. I find it to be so beautiful and kind. I remember hearing the poet Pádraig Ó Tuama speak of this... the non-identification with the emotion vs having it upon us or on us... it makes it easier to hold it -- and if it is happiness -- we know too... that passes as well, and sadness passes, and anger... all of it.. but we hold it while it is there with us. Thanks for sharing this.
As I’m reading this, I’m making edits to my little business cards that I ordered last year that have my deadname and old pronouns on them. They’re so pretty and well made and I didn’t want to trash them. A friend grabbed a scissor and magically decapitated the top half, removing the fake news and giving way to a gorgeous wrinkled linen paper underneath. Here I can scrawl “em”, in my lovely, stretchy script. I was doing this as I listened to this recording and joy and tears came as I let the joy bubble from the process of reclamation and the non-sensical rush of pleasure found in peeling back the plastic to reveal the soft linen underside. Thank you for the reminder that joy is safe and expansive and available.
thank you! The term deadname refers to a name that someone no longer goes by. For many trans, non-binary, gender non conforming folks, it’s the name that they were given at birth and have since changed to something that fits and feels better ♥️
Thank you for writing this, I have found joy in the mess the birds make underneath the new bird feeder I hung recently, it spreads out for several feet, which is surprising for how small of birds come to the feeder! But they can really make it swing to find the little morsel they want. I also have found joy in my Dad, who always listens to me and has dedicated themself to helping me, no matter how many times I guiltily say that they shouldn’t help me, or that I should be able to help myself. My dad says that that’s not how life works, that people need support, sometimes for a long time, and he doesn’t need me to be anything more than who I am now to deserve it
Your dad is so wise. I fail in this as a parent and find that when I lean into support and offering to do something together, it is right. On a different note, I find you in birds too- you might like this post on creativity which has a video at the end of birds taking their first flight. https://pocketfulofprose.substack.com/p/taking-a-creative-leap
Sea glass - especially the itsy bitsy blue pieces. I found two of those today. Gave me so much joy. Plus my wife made it through to the other side of emergency open heart surgery which gave me so much joy.
The timing of this is remarkable. I woke up this morning and told my partner that although I've been a recovering people pleaser for about 9 years, I have only focused on words and actions. I realized that I have been adapting my emotions and expressions of my emotions for 30 years to what I think they should be, not what they authentically are.
Afterward, I texted my friend and said, "I've not only lived my life trying to do and say the right things but also to have the correct emotions. To feel the right things. And oooooof that doesn't leave any room for authenticity."
Thank you for sharing your practice. It will be my practice now, too. And thank you for showing us that joy is never inappropriate or unattainable. ♥️
Wow did this speak to me! (I originally wrote that it "hit home," but I'm trying not to use violent catch phrases.) Anyway, I'm becoming more aware of how I hold fear in my throat and chest -- breathing shallower. When I notice it, I do a breath meditation to re-inflate my body. And as I'm doing this now I see a feisty little Song Sparrow perched on my window ledge sheltering from the rain. Welcome, tiny singer of truth!
Well shit. I need to learn to not listen to Andrea’s wisdom on errand days. This 4:35 audio clip just surmised a root that I’ve been trying to hone in on/avoiding for months in therapy. But I still need to go to the grocery store.
"Falsely we believe that if we feel the heights of joy, we will have a longer and harder fall. " I love it when these sorts of things turn out to be false - though there is something brave about experiencing joy even if it were true that we'd have further to fall.
Reminds me of when I was falling in love with CJ way back when and I decided to just enjoy every moment of it even if it was going to end in heartbreak. Grateful I just went for it. If our relationship had ended, it would have hurt anyway and I wouldn't have had the joy part to go with it, and, as it is, somehow 22 years later... what?!?
Grateful for Meg in your life and for all the people known and unknown you love you. What a gift to see you live so fully! Oh, and, so grateful for your therapist too!
Sending so much joy your way. Particularly the kind that is so strong and tender that it also comes with a wave of the best sort of tears. And a bunch of love.
Thank you for writing this Andrea. I was telling a friend how my writing was stirring up feelings and I felt anxious, sad ... and she said what’s wrong with that? They are just feelings. You can feel them as if it was that simple. And then it occurred to me, that I might try it. I’m going to try and breathe into joy today to see if I can turn a drop into a teaspoon into a tablespoon ....into a cup I can drink from. Sending love to you.
Mowing the lawn this hot morning, it was so delightful to see all the bees buzzing around my lavender and even the weeds that comprise my "lawn". Slowing down to let them flit away before cropping the stems, watching them find another flower to light on. Leaving the backyard unmowed and available to them, like their own private habitat. Joy.
Kayaking down our local canal into the lake surrounded by swanky houses and fantasizing about buying some rocks and a dock so we could have our own place on the lake.
Looking for a bush in our local nursery and stopping to examine each plant we walk buy, and smell them.
Making a dark chocolate cheesecake for my son's birthday and sampling the batter. Especially the smoothing of the chocolate ganache on the top
Reading on my lawn chair. A book that you can't put down .
I am finding joy in following your journey, Andrea! Also...I love animals...so every time I hear a bird’s song, I find joy in identifying the bird that is singing...I find joy in saving all of the worms that get uprooted from the dirt when it is raining...I find joy in hearing my cats purr...and children laughing...I find joy in saying hello and I love you to all of the birds, bunnies and squirrels that I see outside!
I also find joy in the programming that I do for kids as a Children’s Librarian. I am the co-founder and co-host of a program called Rainbow Connections that meets via Zoom on the second Monday of each month. It’s a safe and affirming place for LGBTQ+ kids and allies in kindergarten through fifth grade that has been around since November of 2021! It is the most rewarding and meaningful program that I have ever been a part of in the 20 years that I have been a librarian. I have been honored and overjoyed to get to know all of the amazing kiddos who have been a part of the meetups.
Thanks for sharing Jessica. I’m a teacher and I run a multi-cultural book club, so I share this joy with you. I also love birds. Any chance you can tell me by the singing, if the bird in the video at the end of this post is a wren or sparrow?
We needed this message this morning. The day you shared the video of you dancing was a hard day for my love and me. We were having big feels and took a break from one another and conversation. Your post popped up and I ran to her to show her that we could be joyful just like you, even on the hard days. I am eternally grateful for all of your wisdom. And thank you for reminding us to embrace the joy.
This is resonating on many levels with me! Frighteningly so...
Your ability to take the baby steps and appreciate the moments of joy as they bubble up is inspiring!
I purchased a thifted table easily seven or eight years ago with every intension of painting it. Instead I placed it in the hallway with a few small framed family and friends photos on top and lived with it. While deep cleaning lately I came across a small square tablecloth circa 1950s from a family member that was tucked away. The idea popped in my head to cover the table with it. You'd think I won the lottery! Crazy as it seems I could feel a physical change when I placed it on there. I smile every time I walk up the stairs and see it. Such a simple silly thing but it's bringing me all kinds of joy! My Grama and great great aunt whose photos sit on top of it I'm sure are enjoying it too. Much love to you and yours Andrea xo
Hey Andrea, I'm Irish, did you know that in Irish, we don't say I am sad or I am happy, like we do in English.
The direct translation is more like this..
Tá brón orm, (I am sad) is ‘I have sadness on me’.
Tá athas orm (I am happy) is 'I have happiness on me.
or even
Tá ochras orm (I am hungry) is 'I have hunger on me'.
I love this.
I think it's a much better way of understanding and expressing emotion. To say a person is sad is such a heavy thing to say. In Irish, the language allows us, encourages us even, to understand that our emotions can come upon us and leave us. They don't define or whole being. xx Rósín
I adore this. thank you!
Roisin -- thanks for the reminder of this. I find it to be so beautiful and kind. I remember hearing the poet Pádraig Ó Tuama speak of this... the non-identification with the emotion vs having it upon us or on us... it makes it easier to hold it -- and if it is happiness -- we know too... that passes as well, and sadness passes, and anger... all of it.. but we hold it while it is there with us. Thanks for sharing this.
As I’m reading this, I’m making edits to my little business cards that I ordered last year that have my deadname and old pronouns on them. They’re so pretty and well made and I didn’t want to trash them. A friend grabbed a scissor and magically decapitated the top half, removing the fake news and giving way to a gorgeous wrinkled linen paper underneath. Here I can scrawl “em”, in my lovely, stretchy script. I was doing this as I listened to this recording and joy and tears came as I let the joy bubble from the process of reclamation and the non-sensical rush of pleasure found in peeling back the plastic to reveal the soft linen underside. Thank you for the reminder that joy is safe and expansive and available.
Thank you for sharing this beauty!
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I have to know what a deadname is. And I love your mix of frugality and craft. xo Cyn
thank you! The term deadname refers to a name that someone no longer goes by. For many trans, non-binary, gender non conforming folks, it’s the name that they were given at birth and have since changed to something that fits and feels better ♥️
Thank you for writing this, I have found joy in the mess the birds make underneath the new bird feeder I hung recently, it spreads out for several feet, which is surprising for how small of birds come to the feeder! But they can really make it swing to find the little morsel they want. I also have found joy in my Dad, who always listens to me and has dedicated themself to helping me, no matter how many times I guiltily say that they shouldn’t help me, or that I should be able to help myself. My dad says that that’s not how life works, that people need support, sometimes for a long time, and he doesn’t need me to be anything more than who I am now to deserve it
lovely
Your dad is a wise man!
Your dad is so wise. I fail in this as a parent and find that when I lean into support and offering to do something together, it is right. On a different note, I find you in birds too- you might like this post on creativity which has a video at the end of birds taking their first flight. https://pocketfulofprose.substack.com/p/taking-a-creative-leap
Sea glass - especially the itsy bitsy blue pieces. I found two of those today. Gave me so much joy. Plus my wife made it through to the other side of emergency open heart surgery which gave me so much joy.
sending love to you and your wife, Jae.
I love the blue pieces too
The timing of this is remarkable. I woke up this morning and told my partner that although I've been a recovering people pleaser for about 9 years, I have only focused on words and actions. I realized that I have been adapting my emotions and expressions of my emotions for 30 years to what I think they should be, not what they authentically are.
Afterward, I texted my friend and said, "I've not only lived my life trying to do and say the right things but also to have the correct emotions. To feel the right things. And oooooof that doesn't leave any room for authenticity."
Thank you for sharing your practice. It will be my practice now, too. And thank you for showing us that joy is never inappropriate or unattainable. ♥️
"To feel the right things" WOW WOW WOW---- this was so helpful to read. Thank you so much.
Wow did this speak to me! (I originally wrote that it "hit home," but I'm trying not to use violent catch phrases.) Anyway, I'm becoming more aware of how I hold fear in my throat and chest -- breathing shallower. When I notice it, I do a breath meditation to re-inflate my body. And as I'm doing this now I see a feisty little Song Sparrow perched on my window ledge sheltering from the rain. Welcome, tiny singer of truth!
gorgeous.
Well shit. I need to learn to not listen to Andrea’s wisdom on errand days. This 4:35 audio clip just surmised a root that I’ve been trying to hone in on/avoiding for months in therapy. But I still need to go to the grocery store.
🙏 and 💛 and 😣
I can't unsee you dance and that is a joy!
"Falsely we believe that if we feel the heights of joy, we will have a longer and harder fall. " I love it when these sorts of things turn out to be false - though there is something brave about experiencing joy even if it were true that we'd have further to fall.
Reminds me of when I was falling in love with CJ way back when and I decided to just enjoy every moment of it even if it was going to end in heartbreak. Grateful I just went for it. If our relationship had ended, it would have hurt anyway and I wouldn't have had the joy part to go with it, and, as it is, somehow 22 years later... what?!?
Grateful for Meg in your life and for all the people known and unknown you love you. What a gift to see you live so fully! Oh, and, so grateful for your therapist too!
Sending so much joy your way. Particularly the kind that is so strong and tender that it also comes with a wave of the best sort of tears. And a bunch of love.
Thank you for writing this Andrea. I was telling a friend how my writing was stirring up feelings and I felt anxious, sad ... and she said what’s wrong with that? They are just feelings. You can feel them as if it was that simple. And then it occurred to me, that I might try it. I’m going to try and breathe into joy today to see if I can turn a drop into a teaspoon into a tablespoon ....into a cup I can drink from. Sending love to you.
What a wise friend. I have a few like that. They are the best. xo
Currently finding joy in the way a dead tree holds onto a live one like it’s not ready to let go of living yet
Oh my goodness, this is one of my favorite things too!
Mowing the lawn this hot morning, it was so delightful to see all the bees buzzing around my lavender and even the weeds that comprise my "lawn". Slowing down to let them flit away before cropping the stems, watching them find another flower to light on. Leaving the backyard unmowed and available to them, like their own private habitat. Joy.
beautiful.
you keep saving my life
Kayaking down our local canal into the lake surrounded by swanky houses and fantasizing about buying some rocks and a dock so we could have our own place on the lake.
Looking for a bush in our local nursery and stopping to examine each plant we walk buy, and smell them.
Making a dark chocolate cheesecake for my son's birthday and sampling the batter. Especially the smoothing of the chocolate ganache on the top
Reading on my lawn chair. A book that you can't put down .
beautiful.
I am finding joy in following your journey, Andrea! Also...I love animals...so every time I hear a bird’s song, I find joy in identifying the bird that is singing...I find joy in saving all of the worms that get uprooted from the dirt when it is raining...I find joy in hearing my cats purr...and children laughing...I find joy in saying hello and I love you to all of the birds, bunnies and squirrels that I see outside!
I also find joy in the programming that I do for kids as a Children’s Librarian. I am the co-founder and co-host of a program called Rainbow Connections that meets via Zoom on the second Monday of each month. It’s a safe and affirming place for LGBTQ+ kids and allies in kindergarten through fifth grade that has been around since November of 2021! It is the most rewarding and meaningful program that I have ever been a part of in the 20 years that I have been a librarian. I have been honored and overjoyed to get to know all of the amazing kiddos who have been a part of the meetups.
I hope you are having a wonderful day, Andrea!
Thank you so so much for all of this.
Oops- https://pocketfulofprose.substack.com/p/taking-a-creative-leap
Thanks for sharing Jessica. I’m a teacher and I run a multi-cultural book club, so I share this joy with you. I also love birds. Any chance you can tell me by the singing, if the bird in the video at the end of this post is a wren or sparrow?
We needed this message this morning. The day you shared the video of you dancing was a hard day for my love and me. We were having big feels and took a break from one another and conversation. Your post popped up and I ran to her to show her that we could be joyful just like you, even on the hard days. I am eternally grateful for all of your wisdom. And thank you for reminding us to embrace the joy.
thank you for this, Becky. This made my day to read.
This is resonating on many levels with me! Frighteningly so...
Your ability to take the baby steps and appreciate the moments of joy as they bubble up is inspiring!
I purchased a thifted table easily seven or eight years ago with every intension of painting it. Instead I placed it in the hallway with a few small framed family and friends photos on top and lived with it. While deep cleaning lately I came across a small square tablecloth circa 1950s from a family member that was tucked away. The idea popped in my head to cover the table with it. You'd think I won the lottery! Crazy as it seems I could feel a physical change when I placed it on there. I smile every time I walk up the stairs and see it. Such a simple silly thing but it's bringing me all kinds of joy! My Grama and great great aunt whose photos sit on top of it I'm sure are enjoying it too. Much love to you and yours Andrea xo
thank you for this sharing! Much love to you too!